Wednesday, 28 August 2019

Thu 29th Aug 2019/Job Search/Streatham sign on/Norwood GPO/Shopped: Aldi/Iceland/Vauxhall art class/Tate Britain/Remakery event meeting

-(I wrote this post the next day...very early morning: 03:31 AM; so, it's all based on carefully recollected events.)-

10:20 AM AWOKE: DID JOB SEARCH ONLINE

I went to sleep really late...somewhere around 2:30 AM morning. So, I had a difficult time waking up, early. Deep inside the back of my mind, I knew I had to sign on at Streatham Job Centre, today; just wasn't too sure at what time...?

Anyway, I awoke with a 'start' at 10:20 AM...thinking to myself oh no...I might already be 'late'; however, when I went and checked by looking at the job centre appointment card...it actually said that the appointment was due at 11:20 AM. So, I still had 1 hour left to go.

I used that 1 hour...to, first, do an online job search; which I hadn't been doing since all week long. Then, of course, I had to get myself ready to go out.

11:20 AM VISITED STREATHAM JOB CENTRE: SIGNED ON WITH RICHARD

When I arrived at the job centre, much to my surprise, even though I actually signed in to the job centre computer to prove I did the job search; the guy who I signed on with called, Richard; didn't really want to know. Instead, he said we'll check another time. Then, he let me 'sign on'; and, I simply left.

11:40 AM SHOPPED AT STREATHAM ALDI SUPERSTORE

I did some shopping inside of Streatham Aldi superstore; explaining to the girl at the till...that I only had no more than £8.00 to spend on my card; therefore, if I have taken up too many goods...so that the card won't cover the bill...then, I will need to return back stuff. I returned back 2 sets of Duracell batteries/plus, I thick bag. Otherwise, I brought...

3 x bags of potatoes
1 x set of tomatoes
2 x tins of Tuna
4 x tins of baked beans
1 x large blue thick shopping bag to carry everything in

At first, I wasn't too sure if the bag would hold everything...without breaking...but, luckily, I had no problems at all; reaching all the way back home quite safely...having balanced the bag on my bikes handlebars.

1:30 AM VISITED WEST NORWOOD POST OFFICE

I was aware that I needed, quite desperately, to make a deposit into my current a/c.;  because my balance actually said: £0.00. So, I had to pop down to West Norwood post office to make the deposit.

1:40 AM SHOPPED ICELAND SUPERMARKET

I brought stuff in West Norwood Iceland supermarket...

1 x Castello cheese with pinapple £1.00
1 x pack of 8 bottles of orangeade Lucozade £3.80
1 x cat food/40 pouches £10.00

I went back down the road to get the cat food, later on; so, that was 2 separate trips I made to visit Iceland.

3:40 PM WENT ART LESSON WITH LIL SULLIVAN/ACKERMAN MEDICAL CENTRE/VAUXHALL

I hadn't been to an art lesson in 2 weeks long; so, this time, because it was a nice clear sunny day...plus, I was already dressed...I made my mind up to go.

 I gave Jenny -a girl who I had promised some FREE art materials to-

2 x Sketchbooks: A3/A5
1 x Pentel pastel set...12 colours
1 x Carrying pouch
...plus, a plastic CoOp bag to carry everything in. She 'thanked' me, of course.

The other girl I saw there was Kate; who I didn't bring anything for; but, then, I didn't know she would be there. Maybe, next time.

During the class, I worked using my own 'graphite stick' pencil...and, drew 1 female head (not very well)/followed by 2 attempts to draw a miniature bird sculpture.

Because, I had arrived 'late', as usual; it wasn't too long before the class was done at 5 PM.

Lil, did mention, however, that during this same evening...at 6:30 PM; they would be having an event meeting at The Remakery; please, come along...all those who can. I promised to go; but, first, I wanted to go and visit seeing Tate Britain.

5 PM VISITED TATE BRITAIN GALLERY/COPIED AN EYE/DREW A GIRLS HEAD FROM MEMORY 

When I arrived at Tate Britain gallery...I saw 2 girls keeling down near the couch...practising doing some drawing. I girl was 'brown'/another one 'white'. I really admired the 'white' girls drawing of an eye/and, I liked seeing the other girls head.

So, I went and got some papers; drew the Indian looking girls head...from memory.

Afterwards, I went and copied out the white girls drawing of an eye...which she had 'falsely' signed...Helen, 5 YRS/my copy said, Helen, 4 YRS.

By this time Tate Britain was closing down. So, I grabbed 3 papers/together with a pencil...and, left knowing I need to reach The Remakery at 6:30 PM.

6:30 PM VISITED THE REMAKERY EVENT MEETING/VAUXHALL

I arrived at the Remakery at around 6:25 PM; however, no Lil was there, yet. So, I decided to go and fetch her...she only lives 4 or 5 doors away from there. I told her the meeting was about to start...and, they were waiting for her. She said how many people had come...and, I answered I saw around 6/7.

We both left walking off to The Remakery. Eventually, though, more and more people arrived; I'd say, ultimately, there must have been 15 or so; including Remakery teachers/art students/people who were just simply interested/-etc.

We were all asked to introduce ourselves...so everybody would know our names...and, what we were about.

One guy, I distinctly remember...I forgot exactly what he said his name was...but, he was 'black'...and, mentioned he was gay/and, also, HIV Positive. Once he had mentioned that combination...I immediately decided to leave; not wishing to seem extremely rude...I didn't just rush out; but, waited for the meeting to have a break. Finally, they said...the introductions were over...and, now, they were having a 'social'. That's when I walked up to Lil...and, apologised...telling her, I worried about how my mum is...so, I'm leaving; and, then, I went off without saying goodbye to anybody else there.

CONCLUSION    

When you do suffer from Social Phobia/and, also, Autism...then, it can be really difficult going to meet 'stranger' people. Some of the people I had already seen before...and, seeing/meeting them again...made me feel fairly safe/relaxed/comfortable.

Seeing all of those 'stranger' people, though...and, also, taking part in a big 'group' event...did not make me feel comfortable, at all...instead, the bigger the group became as more and more people turned up...then, the more and more, I felt...joining in was not such a good idea at all...as, I just wanted to 'run'. That's a part of Autism...we like what is 'familiar'...what's new...we tend to move away from.

Normally, I don't tend to mix with 'gays'...if I can ever possibly help it; unless it's unknowingly, of course. I don't wish them dead or anything; and, I never beat one up before; but, it's like they have their own particular lifestyle/and, I have mine...so, they can go their way/and, me, I prefer to go mine.

Frankly, due to experiencing the very high stress level I felt inside...I'm not sure I wish to attend any more large Remakery meetings ever again.

Having Autism, keeps one isolated...having few/or, no friends...which is the downside; well, it's a downside if you miss friendships(sometimes, I do/other times, I don't); on the other hand, the upside to the condition is...you don't have to deal with loads of people who you might not get along with, neither...this is because having loads of friends...means, friends can, sometimes, turn to become enemies...that is, if one isn't too careful; people go off one another for either logical/or else, illogical reasons. So, as my natural tendency is to remain entirely isolated...by keeping myself heavily cocooned off from the rest of society...also serves to protect me an awful lot from life's many miseries, as well.

On the other hand, I might well pay to be a monthly member of The Remakery; because I need to learn how to do woodworking/iron work; but, I will work mostly on my own...and, not as being a part of any large group.








  

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