Phoned Millicent/Trevor about Builder's price offer.

050720

PHONE MILLICENT AND TREVOR TO ASK WHAT IS THEIR OPINION

Today, I phoned to speak to my cousins: Millicent and Trevor; and, just like my cousin, Sharon, had advised me, yesterday; they think it's far better to try selling the house off...rather than introducing just merely 'temporary' fixes...the builder said £250.00 just to do a 'temporary' fix/and, £4,000.00 to do a more lasting fix.

Otherwise, the place is going to seriously deteriorate further and further; and, with inadequate funds being available...I will not be able to fix things up in time...before it all gets increasingly worse and worse still; because, by that time, the house could end up collapsing, and, being totally 'valueless'.

They said, I need to find out where the Death Certificate is...; and, give it to the solicitors...in order to discover how to change the house deeds into my sole name/and, not both my mum(recently, deceased), and, my names.

MY OWN POSITION

Unfortunately, my family don't fully understand me. I'm autistic; and, us autistic's do NOT take very kindly to accepting 'change'. We would much prefer to 'dream' that absolutely everything must remain exactly the same; and, quite simply, forevermore. 

Only that's not being entirely realistic, I'm afraid; because the truth is that everything in life 'changes', constantly, all the time; and, one must do one's utmost best to adapt to these changes...otherwise, we are quite likely to find ourselves having been left way behind.

I hate to have to make this exact analogy; but, just as with my mum's death; she always said, -and, really quite vehemently- that she didn't wish to go into hospital; and, I myself was really quite happy to play the ever-dutiful son...following her advice, alone; and, ignoring what everybody else says; when the family had advised me that I should send her into hospital straight away. Who knows, maybe if I did listen to them sooner rather than later...in the end, she had to be turned in to the doctors, anyway...as she wasn't eating/drinking/moving/and, was seriously, losing weight; she would still be 'alive', and, moving, right now; as opposed to lying perfectly still inside of the grave dead.

Similarly, they are advising me to 'sell the house' before it all becomes totally destroyed/decayed/with certain parts already falling down/rotting away/leaks/cracks/holes everywhere. But, I'm having a really difficult time when attempting to come to grips with that particular 'reality'; and, instead, I just seem to think...if I quite 'blindly' sit back; and, merely do nothing...then, the house will be able to stay all in 'one' piece.

The truth is, however...as the current state of the bathroom shows...where the wall has gone and completely detached itself from the top roof/and, also, door sides...that if absolutely nothing is 'fixed'; then, things are going to deteriorate very badly, indeed; even to the point of becoming totally unmanageable, anymore.

 

The other thing which does seriously frighten me...is where the hell am I going to move to...and, what will that place/people be alike? I've had the experience where I moved to somewhere; and, absolutely hated it...had to move back here, instead; I stayed there 10+ years feeling totally unhappy...became Agoraphobic, in fact. That truly bitter experience does seriously haunt me still...in fact, it left me with feelings of PTSD/Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome(which I've still not gotten over completely, yet). 

You see, part of the problem is, that I am not a socialite...I'm private/don't want any company; and, only love to keep myself to myself; so, this makes it extremely difficult for me to be able to get along successfully with others. Having to go deal with my personality type demands great skill/and, patience/also, loads of forgiveness...as I tend to make all of the same kinds of social mistakes, really quite endlessly, again and again.

In normal life...you just don't get that kind of deeply caring/and, understanding atmosphere. If you don't talk; then, people think you are stuck up/rude/-etc.; and, then, they immediately put you down. Or, if you are in any way, 'different'...; this is another reason why they will tend to pick on you absolutely non-stop. 

Me, I need time to study(read/research using the internet)/practice programming/do drawing/painting/-etc. 

I'm not the type who you will ever see inside of a pub drinking; nor am I the partying type, neither. 

The most places i tend to go and visit is 'quiet' places such as public libraries/art galleries/museums...; and, even inside of those places...I have tremendous difficulties whenever attempting to socialise with others.

So, you see, for me 'moving home' is an extremely difficult prospect to even 'think' about. Then, there is so much stuff to move; how on earth am I going to get it all to fit into a much smaller place...?! And, what sort of things will I loose...

In my minds eye, I think, it would be nice to have a place with Concierge...so that all comings/and goings are carefully monitored both night/day;  and, there is no 'instant' access for visitors. At the same time, I need to have the 'freedom' to do as I please/when I please...meaning both come/and, go...and, also, keep my cat, possibly...when I'm living inside of the premises...so, I worry about my 'freedom' being taken away, too...what will be the internal rules? On top of all this, I'm currently aged 57...therefore, I wish to be placed amongst older people where it's 'safe'; as opposed to living amongst the young...fit, strong, dangerous.

On the other hand, the kind of place I'm describing is really for people who are either mentally/physically ill...; and, in such a way, that they can't help themselves; which doesn't describe me at all, actually. Yes, I have a few mental disorders: Extreme shyness(which some claim mean, anti-social; which I do totally disagree with; it's just that I only open up to people who I do feel most truly comfortable with)/BiPolar/ADD/Asperger's Syndrome; and, I also have a number of physical illnesses, too; but, absolutely nothing which says i cannot think/or, interact with other people without help; plus, my age, 57 is still relatively 'young'...; so, those 'older people' homes might not suit me at all; nor would I want to go there...and, be surrounded by people who are 60/70/90+/or else, who are mentally unfit.

So, it's not a case of I don't ever think about these things...; but, I'm just not sure where to locate to...; nor for how much? I tried doing a few online searches...to find...properties with Concierge services...; and, the prices are just, quite simply, ridiculous: £3,000.00  per week/-etc.; there is no way in the world that I will ever be able to afford that...unless I was a millionaire(which, of course, I'm not...instead, I'm a relatively 'poor' person..who is living off the dole)!

So, for me, the whole idea of 'moving home' is certainly not an easy choice to have to make; in fact,  really and truly, it's 'scary'; they say that moving home is one of the most difficult things for anybody to do if life; as it totally uproots you.