Fri 030120 Mum's Funeral Service at West Norwood Cemetary

11 AM WENT TO VISIT YEATMAN'S FUNERAL DIRECTOR'S

At 11 AM I decided to go and pay a visit to Yeatman's the funeral directors who are located opposite West Norwood Cemetary gates.

I wanted to discuss if there was anything which I had forgotten; and, that had been left out; which needed doing, now.

They said... 

- there are no forms to sign

- the flowers are already delivered

- and, the guy Bobby had already called (spoke to my cousin, Sharon)

- etc.

11:15 AM WENT AND VISITED SEEING THE GRAVE

I wanted to go and witness seeing the grave...in order to make sure the two trees had been completely removed...before they were 40 foot long; then, later on, had been reduced to becoming 2 x 6 foot stumps.

I discovered that the 2 x tree stumps...which were there only 2 days ago...had been totally removed; and, a driverless JCB digger truck was left nearby. The grave itself had already been dug; and, also, the headstone had been removed.

11:30 AM PAID £200.00 MONEY TO ALLEN'S HEAD PUB, ROB

I paid £200.00 to Rob -(a TimeBank charity trustee board member)-; he said he was in the process of preparing a receipt; but, it would take around 15 minutes long; and, I decided to not bother to wait any further...as people were due to arrive at the home at around 12:00 midday.

I did ask him to just put his name/and, the money paid on the back of some simple note, however.

11:45 AM I PAID £20.00 TO WEST NORWOOD BARBER SHOP

I paid the sum of £20.00 to a West Norwood barber shop...in order to get both my hair cut...short back/and, sides; and, also, my beard trimmed down.

I came away feeling really pleased with the end result; which made me look a lot smarter than I did before(which was rather shaggy).

The guy, originally, charged me £25.00; then, decided to refund back a £5.00 note...; I forgot exactly why; but, that generous gesture also left me feeling really pleased. 

12:00 MIDDAY I ARRIVED BACK AT THE HOME...STILL NO VISITORS, YET

I decided to get out of my normal clothes; and, instead, get dressed into funeral garb.

- Black trousers (the first pair I tried on couldn't fit; so, I tried a next...luckily, it worked)

- White shirt

- Black tie

- Black blazer

- Black trousers

- Black socks

- Black shoes

-(NOTE: The black blazer/white shirt/black tie/black shoes...were all brought just yesterday evening inside of two separate shops in Streatham...somewhere between 5 PM-6 PM.

The shoes were brought, separately; and, the rest of the clothes were all brought inside of one same shop.

I cannot recall what was the exact price; but, I spent around £80+ for the clothes/and, £20+ for the shoes.)-

12:30 PM FAMILY VISITORS STARTED TO ARRIVE

The family started to arrive at the home somewhere around 12:30 upwards.

- Millicent/Trevor/Chris/Phyllis

- Sharon/Oliver (Geoff/and, Charlotte...seem to have arrived, later on whilst we were at the Chapel)

- June/Neville/Anne/Krish/Emma/Isobel...arrived separately at the Chapel.

- Philip/Winifred/Floyd (arrived, later on, at the chapel)

1:30 PM THE FUNERAL CAR ARRIVED

At 1:30 PM the funeral car arrived...I shut up the house...and, we all left...some in their separate cars; and, a few in the limo. The limo contained the coffin with a coffin spray of flowers on top.

I went inside of the limo...so was my cousin, Sharon/Oliver; (and, I forgot who else?!)

As we went off down the road...we could see my cousins: June/Anne/walking up the road, obviously, going to meet us at the house; however, realising we had already left...they walked back down the road towards the Chapel, instead.

2 PM WEST NORWOOD CEMETARY CHAPEL

Outside the Chapel...Bobby, -a big brown Jamaican guy/also, the driver of the limo- helped us to conduct the funeral procession.

Funeral bearers were selected...I remember I was one/can't remember who exactly were the rest...and, he told us how to lift the coffin, carefully...and, then, walk towards...and, inside of the church...where it would be placed on the Alter.

The organist played music...; and, also, we saw/met the priest...-(we should have met him before; however, never found enough time)-...and, English guy; he did an ok job.

Basically, the Chapel service was to last 30 minutes long...with 5 minute slots being given to... 

- entry music (organist)

- prayer

- speech (myself/I improvised)

- hymn (The Lords prayer)

- speech (Floyd/he made up his own)

- hymn (All things bright and beautiful)

- speech (Sharon/she wrote hers down on paper)

- exit music (organist)

 My speech which I made went...

-  I thank my mum for having brought me up really well...to know right from wrong...and, also, for encouraging me to stay on the straight and narrow...as I've never been to prison, yet; because I didn't wish to cause either my aunt/or, mum any distress having to go visit me being in prison all over the country.

- Although we are not rich...and, don't have the Queen for my mum...I don't want the Queen; instead, I just want my own mum. (To which everybody laughed.)

Finally, the body was taken down from off the Chapel Alter...by the funeral director people...and, taken off towards the grave; which is where we all walked(some might have used car, instead).

2:30 PM GRAVESIDE BURIAL

As had previously been arranged...the Catholic priest...lead the prayers...

- Our Father

- Hail Mary

...and, it was basically left simple as that. We did chat to him a little bit; but, really not a lot...; obviously, it was a bit of a difficult emotional time...and, so tough speaking to a total complete stranger.

One of the things I tried doing before they placed the coffin into the ground...was to tie a white Catholic Rosary -(ordered from eBay the day before; it arrived the following morning)- to one of the coffin handles. A funeral guy told me...that's not a very good placement...and, so, I let him untie it from the handle...and, instead, place the Rosary on top of the coffin.

-(I should have put the Rosary around my mum's neck before she was buried; however, the last day to do that was, yesterday; and, unfortunately, I was not on time.)-

Eventually, the coffin was lowered into the ground. I do not remember having to lift a spade and place dirt on top of it(optional, I was told)...instead, I let the funeral officials do the rest of the work themselves.

We waited until the whole of the burial ground had been filled up with dirt...and, then, we placed our flowers/and, tribute cards/-etc.

My flowers said, Mum...placed at the foot of the grave; and, the coffin spray, I think, went in the middle/or, top...I forgot? Together with other flowers.

3 PM THE WAKE AT ALLEN'S HEAD PUB

Finally, we went to 'The Wake' being held at Allen's Head's pub. It was held inside of a private sectioned off space at the back; and, there was enough seats/food for everyone...in fact, there was actually too much food. (Ultimately, we had to borrow some Tupperware...in order to take the food back home with us.)

I had to improvise giving 3 speeches...

- Thank everyone for coming.

- Thanks, again...(I can't remember what I said)

- Thanks to my cousin, Sharon; for helping me out...I couldn't have done it without her.

Anyway, all was informal and relaxed...and, there were no problems.

4 PM - 5 PM WE FINISHED EATING/DRINKING - EVERYBODY HEADED OFF HOME

When all of the eating/drinking was done...many people couldn't eat/drink no more...we all headed off home.

It was decided between myself and my cousin Sharon...that I would go to their house to stay for the night(I think, I actually stayed there 2 nights).

I didn't go in Sharon's car; but, instead, I went in Anne and Krish's car.

Before we went to Sharon's house...

I went back to my home...to feed the cat/then, let her out.

And, also, got dressed into my more normal everyday clothes.

Then, we stopped at June's home...; and, eventually, we arrived at Sharon's; which is when June and Krish returned back to Devon where they live.

CONCLUSION

All the time, I had been really very worried that the day might turn out bad...; as there was the potential for anything and everything to go wrong; but, thank goodness, not a lot went wrong...in fact, nothing; the day went pretty much as planned just perfectly.

Yeatman's are a very good Funeral Director service...mind you one did have to hand over money to the tune of £6,125.00(coffin/limo/organist/priest/chapel); not including the additional extra costs of flowers/clothes/20 x Order Of Service sheets to be printed out/-etc.