The truth is any excuse will do...and, my excuse today was I had a £250 bank balance...for me to go gambling.
I remember, at the highest point I was up £270.00...which is winning £20.00 on top of the £250 I'd invested; but, I just couldn't quit; because I wanted to win, at least, £25.00 on top, instead. (Though, I honestly believe even if I did win £25.00 I still wouldn't have stopped; because I would have wanted to go win more...!)
At a mid point in the game, my balance said just over £90.00; but, I still didn't wish to quit; deciding to try and win all that I'd lost back; it's called, 'chasing after your losses'; the which strategy, usually, causes you to lose even more; maybe, even absolutely everything. Next thing, I knew, I had won around £190.00 back...and, was just down by £60.00, alone; I had to bet big, though, gambling very nearly everything which is how I managed to gain such big returns.
At the end point in the game; I decided to go 'all in'...hoping to recover back what was my full original total of £250.00 investment stake. The final bet I made was for £180.00; the bet lost; and, I ended up having lost £230.00 altogether; leaving me with just £20.00 investment to go and play with/or else, withdraw.
I feel totally sick, completely disgusted with myself; for going and gambling with money which wasn't even mine; but, instead, a very close relative's money! I HATE gambling! I HATE the hold it keeps on me. No matter how long I do STOP for; I ALWAYS wish to return back to it, and, chase after my loses, again...with the DREAM of endless winnings being possible...which is a really BIG MISTAKE...as all it does is accumulate more and more endless losses!
I have got to wake up, and, NOT gamble, anymore/or, if I truly can't stop myself...then, go and seek eternal help and support, by visiting Gambler's Anonymous organization at 141 Cleveland Street, outside of Great Portland Street tube station in London; and, sooner rather than later; before I go and run up any further losses.
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