Monday, 7 January 2013

Visited cousin Sharon

SAT 06 2013, SAW 2 CINEMA MOVIES

1> The Impossible/(Tsunami in Thailand) Streatham Odeon/£7.40

2> Texas Chainsaw 3D/(horror) Cineworld/Shaftesbury Ave/The Trocodero/FREE Unlimited Membership

SUN 07 2013, VISITED COUSIN SHARON

Yesterday, I visited seeing my cousin Sharon in Kingswood, Surrey. I travelled by both train/bike; left home around 1PM. I saw her 6 year old son, Domenic; but, the 2 other children -twins 1 year old- were asleep. She and her husband gave me lots of food/drink. Beef, potatoes, brussel sprouts. Sherry(sweet)/Riocco(red wine). After which we went and watched TV. I left there late somewhere after 10PM.

MON 08 2013, VISITED COUSIN SHARON, AGAIN

Today, I returned back to see Sharon, again. This time to go and collect a Christmas/New Year present they gave me; namely, a full sized coloured frosted glass chess set. This time I didn't stay; just went; had a short conversation; then, left. She and her husband were in the process of pulling down the Christmas tree. I would have stayed longer; but, I sensed they didn't really want any company; so, I just made my excuse that I'm going to the cinema; and, then, went straight back home.

CONCLUSION/CONSTANT WORRYING ABOUT HOW I'M GOING TO PAY ALL THE BILLS WITH ALL SAVINGS FAST RUNNING OUT COMPETELY

When I arrived back home; I didn't even bother going out again.

Right now, there are so many other things playing on my mind; such as the fact that I have loads of bills to pay;  but, little or no money to go pay these bills with. Frankly, this situation scares me to death! (Though, I try not to over worry myself; so as not to go completely out of my mind; by putting my mind elsewhere, instead; such as on watching TV/Internet/Books/-etc.)

Recently, I went and got in touch with a company called: National Debtline. They sent me some budget forms to go fill in. I'm thinking I might just do it; even though I'm already registered with another debtor company called: PDH-Personal Debt Helpline; PDH expects me to pay them £200 monthly; they also deduct £30 for their own expenditure, as well. It seems to me that National Debtline can handle my debts a hell of a lot cheaper as they said they wouldn't charge me any fees.

Thursday, 3 January 2013

031113 to 040113 Betting addiction: lost £250.00!

3RD JAN 2013

MORLEY COLLEGE/HAVEN'T SIGNED TO TAKE ANY COURSES THIS YEAR, YET

So far I've still not signed up to go and study a Morley College course; because I don't have sufficient money to be able to pay for lessons, yet; nor am I sure exactly which course(s) to take, next? Computing is important, I think, it terms of finding employment realistically speaking; but, I find doing art a hell of a lot more fun even though I don't have sufficient 'talent' to be able to sell any of the artworks I make. So, the choice I feel I'm being faced with is do art and starve; or else, do computing and hopefully you will have at least a fighting chance to be able to survive. Most unfortunately, I'm not the type of person who can face dealing with practical reality; instead, I tend to live out the whole my entire life following wholly impractical dreams...?!

ONLINE COURSES

I already went and signed up last year to go and take loads of online courses; but, then, I either never or hardly ever went back to go and study online; boy, what a complete and total waste of money! The problem is my mind is being filled with so many things to do both online/offline...that I find it really and truly hard to stick with doing any online studying. Instead, I just go online to check email; pay bills; surf; gamble; buy stuff, -etc. Which basically means I mostly tend to go online purely in order to waste both precious time and money!

I can think of, at least, 2/3/or, more classes that I've been very badly missing out on...; for all of which I've already gone and paid for the year; starting from last year, 2012...; and, then, extending into 2013.

http://www.lynda.com
http://www.universalclass.com
http://www.conquermaths.com
-etc.

MY CAT

Recently, during around the end of last year 2012, I brought a black kitten. I try to buy her enough food in advance; stocking up around 2 to 3 months worth; constantly worrying to myself that when the money runs out...as, I'm sure, eventually, it will; then, I might not have enough money left to be able to keep/feed her any more. Maybe, I will have to give her over to Battersea dogs/cats home? Though, that's the last thing I wish to do; as I dearly love my cat. Furthermore, I was meant to get her sterilized; but, just couldn't afford to do it, yet? The last thing I want is her coming in and having kittens; which would mean loads more mouths to go and feed...!

I give my cat 3 different kinds of food to eat everyday; so it has a wide selection to chose from...

1 x dry food/Supacat for kittens (pellets)
1 x meat/or, fish in liquid jelly (packet)
1 x cheap cat food brought from the pound shop (packet)
+ I change it's water, at least, once/sometimes, twice every day

SPOKE TO NATIONAL DEBTLINE

I spoke to National Debtline over the phone; they said they would send me a budgeting pack; as well as, they mentioned to me certain strategies to bring down my current bills. Namely, if I have less than £16,000.00 in savings; then, I should re-apply to the benefit office for Job Seekers Allowance. I should also ask to claim Council Tax benefit. -Etc.

WENT HALFORDS BIKE SHOP BRIXTON

I went to Halfords bike shop in Brixton where I brought...

1 x pair of bike pedals (one of my bike pedals  broke!)
1 x batteries pack
1 x accessories pack: pair of lights: front and  back/lock/pump
1 x pair of lights: front and back


KEEP FIT/THE GYM GROUP/CANCELLED MEMBERSHIP

December 2012 I received an email from...
http://www.thegymgroup.com
...which said I could rejoin them for £20.00 monthly Direct Debit with no joining fees; I decided to accept.

However, after not going there much; instead, I decided to cancel The Gym Group membership in January 2013. Thus, saving me a totally unnecessary £20.00 per month. If I could afford it; then, this fee would have been ok; but, right now, I can't. I can however reconsider joining them again whenever my financial circumstances do improve.

MARTIAL ARTS/KICK BOXING/CANCELLED £85 MONTHLY DDR YEARLY CONTRACT

I went to Seymour Leisure Centre, Seymour Place; which is located just a few streets away from Baker Street tube station; to go take a kick boxing class. So far to date, I've taken around 5 lessons in all during the end of last year 2012. As usual, I enjoyed going to the class; nice people/teachers; but, being a complete 'beginner' myself; therefore, I have to admit I feel pretty much useless...too stiff/heavy/slow/awkward...compared with the more highly effective, supple, smooth movements of far more experienced people than myself. Of course, I already know it takes plenty of time, practice, patience in order to get improve; but, I'm not too sure that I have that sort of absolutely 'necessary' time, patience, practice deep down within me...?! Nor indeed enough money to keep on paying to go take lessons costing £85.00 monthly for 2 lessons per week: Tue/Thu 1 AM/or, alternatively, 7:30 PM.

One of the reasons I went to kick boxing class, today, 3rd Jan 2013 7:30 PM; that is, apart from with the aim of going training; was to go and sort out the problem of my having gone and signed a year long contract; starting from 3 JAN 13 to pay £85.00 monthly DDR/Direct Debit; the contract to be administered by a company called: Harlands. I told my bank to cancel this contract as I just can't afford it. Next thing I know, Harlands sent me a letter saying my contract was 'fixed'; and, it's not possible for me to suddenly withdraw out of it. However, when I first signed the contract, I was told by the instructor that I could cancel it before the contract becomes due on 3 JAN 13. So, I went to ask Seymour Kick Boxing instructors to go and cancel the contract themselves; the girl who I spoke to on the phone, yesterday, 2 JAN 13 was called, Denise; and, it's she who I went to see this evening to have some further talks about this. She said she would get it cancelled for sure; and, made a photocopy of the letter than Harland sent me. She said they should contact me within a weeks time in order to confirm that the contract has been cancelled; and, if I don't hear from them I should get back in contact with her directly.

OTHER MARTIAL ARTS

Right now, I'm not doing any other martial arts styles; because I just can't afford to do these; that means I've stopped doing...

Aikido
Tai Chi
Boxing
Krav Maga

4TH JAN 2013

GAMBLING ADDICTION

When I came back in late evening around 11PM from having gone and attended my kick boxing lesson; I then moved over to the computer to do some online gambling.

-(I already guessed that this year: 2013; was not going to be a very good year for me; because it's got the unlucky number 13 in it.)-

I tried betting on Roulette at...
http://www.williamhill.co.uk
...and, ended up losing £250.00.

The game went like this...
At first, I doubled my money by winning £508.00;
only I didn't wish to quit, yet;
instead, I wanted to win more;
to try and double £500 to become 1 grand, instead.

Next, I lost half of that £500 to become £250.00
then, I won £450.00;
then, I lost and was down to £150.00;
finally, I was left with around £9.00;
which is when I finally decided to quit!

Needless to say, I'm going to bed now
feeling very sad and sorry for myself, indeed.
Wondering what the hell kind of madness it was
that made me not wish to quit when I knew I was ahead...?!

I really can't believe it,
I'm virtually flat broke;
after having 95% of all my savings vanish into gambling;
and, rather than saving the little money that's left;
I chose to go and gamble it all;
like I really and truly can't stop!

Anyway, I went and made an appointment with GamCare
to go and have counselling in regards to my doing non stop compulsive gambling;
this appointment is on Monday coming.

(LATEST UPDATE: I didn't go to the GamCare meeting. Forgot?!)