Wednesday, 21 August 2019

Wed 21st Aug 2019 Created QNA program/Returned 9 library books/Shopped: food/fish & chips/Joined Lambeth libraries online

CREATED QNA PROGRAM USING A MIXTURE OF: HTML/CSS/JAVASCRIPT

NOTE: I've already gone and uploaded this code into my GitHub online account...
https://github.com/pramnora/javascript/tree/master/qna/001
...so, it's possible to check out the underlying program 'source codes' there.










It is by doing such 'practice' exercises as the above...where you come to realise that you own web page creation skills are either good or bad. In my own opinion, currently my web page design/programming skill cannot be regarded as being truly 'professional'; but, instead, there is much to both learn/understand. I'm still working at a very 'amateur' level of ability, indeed.

For example, I was thinking of added a score to the QNA Test...to indicate how many guesses were either right/wrong...however, I found it really quite difficult working out how to maintain variable 'state'...; that is to say if the counter variable starts off inside of page1.html as being set at 0/then, increments to become 1; whenever the next page2.html loads...and, runs the same Javascript...then, it resets all of the counter variables back to begin counting from 0! After trying really hard to resolve this problem; in the end, I simply quit. Maybe, I will try again another day...when I'm feeling more fresh/and, therefore, up to tackling the problem.

Too, I'm not too happy with the state of the Javascript/CSS code behind it...; which is way too verbose...which in programming circles is known as 'bloat-code'! I need desperately to work out how to slim down the code down a lot more still.




When you're not a very good programmer; then, you put in endless hours and hours; maybe, coding all day/night long...rather obsessively...to produce what is really a very poor end result!

However, when you are a good programmer; then, you can put in a lot less time and effort...yet, still manage to produce some truly amazing end effects.

Still it takes plenty of 'practice' to get that good, though; and, frankly, I've never really practised anywhere near hard enough; which is mainly due to my suffering from ADD/Attention Deficit Disorder.

I study only for a short time...; then, quit! Whenever I do return straight back to learning it...it's mainly to remember all that I've forgotten...? But, in this way, my skills are not improving...; mere revision, alone -going over all that you already know- is not getting better.

I need to work on learning how to do entirely 'new' stuff, instead. For example, I have to learn Flexbox/CSS Grid/Responsive layout techniques/-etc.; these are things which I know really very little about. I've seen other coders do it...; and, very successfully, indeed; but, I myself have never worked out how to do any of that stuff, yet...?! I know where to find online resources...; but, staying with learning it...is something I find really difficult...with 1000+ things to come along and distract all of my attention away.

5:50 PM WENT DOWN TO WEST NORWOOD LIBRARY TO RETURN SOME 9 BOOKS

I went down to West Norwood Library to return some 9 library books. I decided in order to prevent the books from getting lost...having to go find them being located somewhere inside of house?...to keep them all stored inside of one strong bag. (In fact, I doubled the bag before I was leaving as a precaution that the bag don't break/split.)

So, after realising it's getting really 'late'...the library closes at 6 PM...I got just 10 or so minutes left to get down there...I rushed off down the road...hauling this really 'thick' along bag with me. If I hadn't been weighed down with having to carry 9 books; then, I'm sure, I would have arrived there much sooner; however, as it was...I arrived there dead on 6 PM.

As soon as one of the 'black' librarian girls saw me coming...they shouted out loud: 'The library is, now, shut!' But, I simply refused to budge...; so, when she saw the thick parcel I was carrying...she said...you've come to return books ok; then, she directed me off towards some 'automatic' machine. But, again, I refused to budge...stating that I'm not used to using this strange new equipment. Well, anyway, ultimately, she let me return back the 9 books; -(I think, I still have 6 or 7 more books to return, now.)- ; even, though there was a small queue of people standing in front of me, first...I think, it was 2 people who were in the queue, first.

There really weird thing about the books I returned was...I didn't even manage to read 'one' single page. I just looked at all of those books lying in the storage bag...and, thought to myself...am I ever going to read these? The answer which came back to me was, quite clearly, no; that's why I decided to return them all back, immediately...rather that risk accumulating a whole bunch of unnecessary fines.

6:30 PM WENT SHOPPING

Because I now had two 'empty' thick carrier bags with me...and, at the same time, I'm so close to West Norwood high street...I decided why not go and do some shopping. After all, it the shopping is done, right now; then, that means I won't have to shop for some many items, later on.

I went into, at least, 2 West Norwood grocery shops...in one I brought...

5 x Jamacian Water Crackers

...and, in another I brought...

5 x bags of yellow split peas (used for making Indian daahl)
1 x bag of easy cook white rice
1 x Jamaican 'thick' unsliced white bread loaf

I was thinking about buying some plantains...if I had a bike with me...I would have done so; but, when you have to walk...then, carrying home all of that weight in your two hands just gets increasingly heavier and heavier still...so, I decided I can buy the plantains another day.

7:00 PM BROUGHT FISH & CHIPS & SAUSAGE IN BATTER

As I was coming home...and, about to pass by to my local 'fish and chips' shop...just two streets away from where I live. I decided why not go in there...and, get something to eat. The cost of: fish & chips/and, sausage in batter is £5.10p. I didn't have 0.10p change; but, the guy in the shop -who I went to West Norwood Primary school with/he was in the same class as me; his name is, George- said I can bring in the 0.10p during another visit. So, I gave him a £10.00 note as change; and, he returned back to me a fiver.

7:30 PM CAME BACK HOME/EAT

I gave some fish and chips to my mum; she only like small proportions; and, then, took the rest to eat for myself.

Right now, I'm thinking about returning back down the road to give George his 0.10p; but, the truth is it can wait...if not today/then, tomorrow...or, just later on...the fish and chips shop closes at 10:30 PM. My stomach is full...and, I feel as 'lazy' as sheer hell.

After staring really hard at the computer screen all day long...both my eyes feel really 'weak/heavy/tired'; and, I honestly wish to sleep.

8 PM REGISTERED TO JOIN LAMBETH LIBRARIES ONLINE

I heard it's possible to join Lambeth Libraries online...
https://libraries.lambeth.gov.uk
...so, I decided to have a go; apparently, my online application is accepted. However, when I searched to find what books I do currently have out...it said, none; and, when I search to discover what fines I do currently owe...again, it said none. Maybe, it's just too early, so the details on my account haven't fully propagated, yet? But, to me, that's really strange info.; as I know I have at least 7 books still remaining to return; and, an outstanding fine of, at least, £1.00 to go and pay. In fact, I was hoping to go pay this fine online; but, I guess, not now.

10:25 PM WENT DOWN THE ROAD TO PAY BILL

As usual, for anybody who suffers from ADD/Attention Deficit Disorder, I left going down the road to visit the chip shop just before they close at 10:30 PM...right down to the very last few minutes. Then, I ran like completely crazy...which was really difficult...as I normally take bike...or, without a bike, would walk...so, pretty soon I felt out of physical condition/breath...and, had to stop to walk for a while...then, started running, again. Anyway, I arrived there just in time...and, gave the guy the 0.10p I had promised(the amount which he let me off earlier during the evening). He thanked me; and, I left feeling happy that, at least, I went out today; and, took some exercise...as opposed to always staying in; and, doing absolutely none. A good way to finish the day, I guess.

But, then, again...do I feel fit...no...not even in the least bit; in order to get fit/and, stay fit...you have to work out, regularly; which, most unfortunately, I don't tend to do at all. Like everything else in my life...I 'start' and 'stop'. I seem to find it next to impossible to stay with doing anything, constantly. My mind just wonders around far too much...to stick with doing any 'one' thing...; that's pretty much a guarantee; when it comes to keeping friendships/or, studying any subject/or, watching TV...I have to keep on switching channels, constantly...to see what's on the other side; to discover things 'new'.


Monday, 19 August 2019

Tue 19th Aug 2019 YouTube video series: Hacking/Gambled bet £10/won £25/lost: £1 bal.

01:00 AM WATCH HACKING RELATED YOU TUBE VIDEOS

Hacking for Beginner's : YouTube Video series: 1-10

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=alst3FJgmBs&list=PLnjNR4-S-EVrvBY8K4cijCm3UHB5jPdgK

Unfortunately, the above link is no longer working; even, though it was working ok early this morning; apparently, the original creators:

http://www.hackersacademy.com

...have put in a copyright claim...thus, forcing YouTube to take their videos down; that is a pity, because I found watching the teaching material really clear.

10 AM WATCHED REALLY INTERESTING JAVASCRIPT RELATED UDEMY VIDEO

https://www.udemy.com/course/asynchronous-javascript-promises-callbacks-async-await/


The instructor impresses me...in that -(even, though he has a thick strange accent)- he is able to break down what is a very complex subject into very simple parts...so, as to make everything perfectly understandable. Personally speaking, I need to know all about Javascript: Callbacks/Promises/Async/Await/-etc. Certainly, watching his preview videos helped.

-(NOTE: I still haven't brought this online Udemy course, yet; which is mainly because I can't afford it; got too many other far more important things to go and pay for.)-

11:03 AM GAMBLED AT WILLIAM HILL: BET £10.00/WON: £25.00/LOST: £1.00 BAL

I returned back to doing William Hill online gambling playing Roulette game. At first, I deposited £10.00; and, at one point I was winning, £25.00; then, the usual sad story, I went and bet far too high: £12.00 bet...next thing, I know my total had dropped to become just £10.00.


Now, I find myself thinking about taking out the deposit amount that I had originally put in....which was £10.00; at least, then, I'm likely to come away with something...as opposed to leaving with nothing...just a nil/or, near to nil balance...?


Well, needless to say, I did not listen to my own very wise advice; but, decided to bet far too high, again...first, I bet £3.00/and, it lost...then, I decided to go nearly 'all in' with a £9.00 bet which, also, lost; and, now, my balance says just £1.00 left!

I thought that might happen...because it usually does...it's not that I never actually win...but, when winning, I just don't know when to 'stop'...and, that's what messes things all up.

Sunday, 18 August 2019

Mon 19th Aug 2019 Worried about having to go out to work, soon/Google video: Cyber Security/Shopped West Norwood high st.

1 AM WORRIED ABOUT UPCOMING JOB INTERVIEW: CROYDON FRI 23RD 7AM/RECYCLING CENTER

-(All the time going through my mind is that on Friday 23rd/7 AM...I am 'forced' to go and attend a job interview at Croydon Re-cycling centre. I'm really not sure that this is the sort of job is for me...as 'recycling' is certainly not a career I wish to get into. I'd rather do Office Admin work/-etc. On the other hand, I'm totally flat broke...so, I need some money really quite desperately. Thus, honestly, I'm caught up in a bit of a dilemma.)-

7 PM POPPED DOWN THE ROAD TO COLLECT FREE METRO NEWSPAPER FROM WEST NORWOOD TRAIN STATION

I went down the road to go and collect some free Metro newspapers from West Norwood train station; I collected many because the downstairs roof is leaking...; need those extra papers to spread on the floor to mop up some of the water.

10 AM WATCHED GOOGLE RELATED YOU TUBE VIDEO: CYBER SECURITY 

Stayed in...mostly slept.

I did try watching a Google related YouTube 'teach yourself' video all about Cyber Security(how attacks are made/how to keep yourself safe); however, as usual, I 'started' just didn't 'finish'..maybe, I got less than half way through; and, most of that time, I as fast asleep, anyway...with the video just idly playing in the background.

5:25 PM WENT DOWN THE HIGH STREET TO SHOP

First, I went down to West Norwood Post Office to do a deposit.

Second, I went over the the chemist to buy some items for my mum...

1 x Drapolene cream
8 x Glucose Sweet tablets
1 x Belladonna plaster

Third, I popped into a butcher's grocery store...where I brought...

1 x long grain white rice
1 x split peas

I also went into West Norwood Picturehouse/Library...to go take a quick leak; then, left(didn't stay to get any further books/didn't use their computers, neither...just wanted to get back home).

CONCLUSION

I been feeling really tired of late; I think, I need to do a lot more exercise...to recover back my fitness; otherwise, it's likely I will feel even more drained. The problem is, I'm eating/drinking all of the wrong foods: crisps/sweet fizzy drinks/chocolate biscuits/-etc.; and, just not exercising enough to get rid of those extra calories; which just ends up weight my whole entire system down...sapping me of both physical/mental energy and strength.

I should have attended Krav Maga in Ruskin Park, Herne Hill...at around 7 AM; but, unfortunately, I did not...mainly because my bike is out of action/getting fixed in Brixton Halfords...and, I didn't fancy having to go walk miles/then, return back miles.







Saturday, 17 August 2019

Sun 18th Aug 2019 Studying c9.io/AWS/Joined: TradingView/MS DOS plus Git/Shopped: Chips/Coop/Papadom

02:12 AM STUDYING USING AWS WITH CLOUD 9/WWW.C9.IO

I joined a Udemy course: Intro to Git...

https://www.udemy.com/course/intro-to-git/learn/lecture/5136786?start=0#overview

...which also mentioned you can join: Cloud 9...in order to do programming online/and, also, create web sites...use Git with it/-etc.

http://www.c9.io

Apparently, Cloud 9 is AWS/Amazon Web Services related cloud based software. So, I had to read up a number of articles on how to get up an running...

- create an IAM/Identity and Access Management 'Administrator' account in order to sign in with both a username and password
- tag -(name/value pairs)- IAM Identity accounts
- look at the different pricing options...some are FREE tier while others are paying
- setting up an EC2 instance environment
- select which is the closest server location
- etc.


-(NOTE: I've still not managed to get Cloud 9 up and running, yet?! Still doing further research into it...)-

02:48 AM ARTICLES: HOSTING A 'STATIC WEB SITE' ON AWS

I also found reading these articles interesting...how to host a 'static web site' on AWS/Amazon Web Services

https://aws.amazon.com/getting-started/projects/host-static-website/?c_1

https://docs.aws.amazon.com/AmazonS3/latest/dev/website-hosting-custom-domain-walkthrough.html

-(NOTE: I didn't create any 'static web site', today; but, I did at some time during the past; just can't remember exactly what was the set up process? Will need to do further research...)-

03:07 AM JOINED TRADINGVIEW.COM/(CREATED A FREE A/C.)

https://uk.tradingview.com




They even seem to have their own programming language called: Pine Script... 






Frankly, I don't know an awful lot about financial trading markets...; however, my own strong inner feeling is it's never too late to go and learn.

6 PM STUDYING UDEMY COURSE: INTRO TO GIT

https://www.udemy.com/course/intro-to-git/learn/lecture/5136786?start=0#overview


Only in their video; they are using AWS/Amazon Web Services Cloud 9 software as the IDE/Integrated Development Environment; plus, Git.

Myself, I'm using Windows 10 platform, instead; together with MS DOS prompt/Notepad/-etc. It takes a few adjustments here and there...but, the Git instructional code still works.

7 PM BEEN PRACTICING USING GIT COMMANDS INSIDE OF MS DOS PROMPT


I was curious to find out if I could use Git commands inside of MS DOS...answer: yes.

1> Open up an MS DOS prompt: [Win pic icon] key + [R]...type in: cmd...then, press [OK] button
2> Create a folder, and, CD into it: mkdir git-test...cd git-test
3> Type: git init
4> Type: notepad test01.txt (click, Yes...to the dialog box which asks if you wish to create the file)
5> Type: git status
...you should see returned the message in 'red'...file unstaged: text01
6> Type: git add test01.txt
7> Type: git status
...you should see returned 1 file staged in 'green' ready to be commited
8> Type: git commit -m "Add file: test01.txt"
9> Type: git log
...you should see the file: [test01.txt] is in the repo, now.
-etc.

(NOTE: Here I've left out the 'push' command to send the code up to my online GitHub account.)








9:45 PM WENT SHOPPING: CHIPS/COOP/PAPADOM

My original intention in going down the road...was to buy some 'ice cream cones' from Iceland. However, when I arrived at Iceland their timetable schedule said: M-S: 8 AM -10 PM/Sun: 11-5 PM. So, obviously, I was far too 'late'.

Later on, during the evening, I went to buy some chips from the shop opposite the CoOp.

Inside of the CoOp itself...I brought...

2 x packets of Jalepeno & Cheese Max Strong crisps
1 x Tiramisu cream desert
1 x disposable green shopping bag

I did try looking inside of Sainsbury's across the road from the CoOp...; but, I didn't find anything in there worthwhile buying...or, rather, there was nothing I could afford, at the moment; so, I just merely looked and left.

On my way home I also stopped off at the local Indian take away, Papadom shop -(0208 761 5856)- where I brought...

1 x Chapate Route (flat pancake)

...the Chapate/and, chips, were brought for my mum; but, I also had a share.




Friday, 16 August 2019

Sat 17th Aug 2019 Studied computing/brought 2 x picture frames/plus, chips


12:30 AM JOINED ONLINE SITE: BRILLIANT.ORG







https://brilliant.org/premium

This looks like being a very good online teaching site...where the emphasis is on 'do it'/as opposed to just merely 'reading it'...; however, it's very expensive to join them...

£399.99 for a Lifetime membership
£5.60 monthly for annual membership/12 x 5.60 = £67.20 (20% discount first year membership offer)
£17.49 monthly membership

I took out a FREE trial option which allows me to try things out before buying; and, found it to be very interesting, indeed; topics include: Computer Science/Maths/-etc.

01:10 AM AT WIKIPEDIA LOOKING AT MANCHESTER BABY COMPUTING MACHINE


https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manchester_Baby

Computing history always did tend to very deeply fascinate me; as does most things to do with computing in almost any form.

01:26 AM LOOKING AT FREE PREVIEW UDEMY COURSE: GIT/GITHUB: £9.99


https://www.udemy.com/course/git-github-the-complete-git-github-course/?couponCode=GITGITHUB2019&utm_content=promo&utm_campaign=2019-08-16&utm_source=email-sendgrid&utm_term=29894208&utm_medium=1336656

I used Git Hub quite a lot; but, I don't use Git very often...hardly ever..as it's command line based; whereas Git Hub is more web browser based; I also sometimes use GitHub for Desktop application...this is also a GUI/Graphical User Interface based app.

I always wanted to learn more about the use of Git/GitHub/GitHub for Desktop...how to use these platforms 'professionally'. I only use these in a purely 'amateur' capacity, instead.

Perhaps, this course would be well worth buying; however, right now, I'm totally flat broke; but, I might consider buy it, later on. A slight reservation I have is this course doesn't seem to go very in depth; but, it does seem to cover learning and understanding all of the basics; which, for me, might well be good enough; then, late on, I could buy a more advanced course.

LATEST UPDATE: I did NOT buy this course, yet.

2:54 AM SEARCHED UDEMY TO FIND FREE GIT COURSES

https://www.udemy.com/home/my-courses/search/?q=git




I decided because my funds are low...; a much cheaper way to learn Git...would be go over to Udemy; then, do a search for FREE Git courses, instead. The search results came back showing around 100 courses that are FREE; some of those search results are irrelevant...because they are foreign language courses/and, others are irrelevant...because I had already signed up for those courses before. However, there were quite a few courses that I did newly sign up for. In all, I've signed up for around 20 Git courses, altogether; and, these I will have to go and check out learning from, later. The one I'm looking at, right now, is...

https://www.udemy.com/course/learngit/learn/lecture/6924130#overview

...which, most unusually, I was able to finish this short course. Normally, I start them...but, then, never -or, hardly ever- finish.


04:38 AM INTERESTING SITE: WOLFRAMALPHA

I was watching a KhanradCoder YouTube video...

How To Build Your Own Virtual Assistant in Python 2.7 In One Video

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1o_CX6gS0xQ

What this guy does is he shows how to use Python to create a User Interface textbox...into which you can type questions. Who is Tomas Edison/-etc. The program source code links to both: wolfram/wikipedia API search engines...; and, it's from these that search engine results are returned in order to answer whatever question you've typed in.


5 AM SOFTWARE: WOLFRAM MATHEMATICA ONLINE: WOLFRAMALPHA.COM

Watching the above video also led me to a very interesting link...

https://www.wolframalpha.com/

...this site is just totally brilliant. All I can say is the world 'famous', Wolfram Mathematica software...is the leading Mathematical software in the whole wide world.

To use the above online software...just type in any sum such as:

2+2
2x+2x
2x+4y
12x12
-etc.

...and, I guarantee you will be surprised at the results which get returned back; it's like all sorts of variation answers to the problem you just typed in...solving the problem, literally; and, also, using the 'number line'/as well as, using graphs/and, many other suggestions. As a mathematical learning tool, this thing is absolutely FANTASTIC!





12:34 PM UPLOADED 4 FILES INTO: UPLOADBANK

http://www.uploadbank.com/?op=my_files;fld_id=0

I went to UploadBank...where I had previously created a single test file: [text.txt].

Then, using their interface I discovered it's possible to select a file...and, 'edit' it's contents; including

-> change the filename + dot + filenameExtension
-> change the file contents inside of the file

Using that same online UI/User Interface...I decided to use 'copy' to create a new file...then, make 4 further changes so far, today...

(NOTE: 'Copy', copies the filename; but, not the file contents...instead, the file contents are left 'blank'...for you yourself to go fill in; also, you can change whatever the file name says.)

1> changed: [text.txt] to become [hw01.vbs]   - MsgBox("Hello, world! From VBScript")
2> created: [hw01.py]                                       - print("Hello, world! From Python")
3> created: [hw01.bat]                                      - ECHO Hello, world! From MS DOS
4> created: [hw01.html]                                    - <p> Hello, world! from HTML</p>


3 PM VISITED WEST NORWOOD LIBARY TO RENEW LIBRARY BOOKS

I visited West Norwood Library...because I knew certain books were due for re-newal on the 20th of August...which is just 3 days away; and, before I forgot...and, ended up running up some huge fines on each book...I decided it's best to renew these in advance...they are now renewed until 7th September. The rest of the library books are due back on 3rd Sep. One book is urgently due for return...as somebody else did order it...Big Data.

3:30 PM BROUGHT CHIPS FROM 'FISH & CHIPS' STORE NEXT TO COOP

My original reason for going down the road today was because my mum said she wanted some 'chips'; I tried going to my nearest 'fish and chip' shop...but, they were closed; this caused me to have to travel out further.

3:58 PM BROUGHT 2 FRAMES + MOUNTS FROM EMMEAUS LOCAL CHARITY SHOP

I went and brought 2 x A3 (approx.) picture frames + mounts from Emmeaus local charity shop; the cost for both was £11.00 (£6 + £5). I used my last saved £20.00 note to buy these with; because I felt if I didn't buy them, right now; then, somebody else would, instead.


20:33 CREATED QB64 TIMES TABLES PROGRAM


This file is stored inside of my GitHub online a/c.:
https://github.com/pramnora/qb64/blob/master/timestables.bas

I think, that choosing the right words to describe your program with; can, sometimes, take as long as it takes to actually write the program itself; because documenting your program is very important, indeed...so, that the reader will be able to more fully understand it...even before actually making the program execute.



Fri 16th Aug 2019 Joined Gaming Sites: sliver.tv/steam/twitch - Watched Google Networking/Shopped: CoOp/Sainsbury's

09:16 AM Joined Gaming Sites: sliver.tv/steam/twitch

http://www.sliver.tv
...when I went and joined them...it said there were 3 different ways to sign in: Facebook/Steam/Twitch...I click on all of these options; and, if I wasn't already a member; then, I signed up, instead...
http://www.steam.com
https://store.steampowered.com/
http://www.twitch.tv (apparently, I joined them before, last year)
...in addition to which I also went and joined: sliver.tv...though using my email a/c.

1 PM STAYED IN BED WATCHING YOU TUBE 'LEARNING VIDEO' ON THE TV

I downloaded a Google video...which teaches one all about Networking...I partly slept through it/partly watched it...both on and off...still haven't finished viewing it in full, yet.

10 PM WENT SHOPPING AT COOP/SAINSBURY'S

My original intention was to go and buy some 'ice cream' cones from Iceland; however, when I arrived there...I read the notice which said they are open from: 8 AM - 10 PM; which, of course, meant they were already shut.

So, I crossed over the road to go and visit the CoOp supermaket store, instead; I arrived there at around 10:20 PM...and, the desk clerk said they would be closing in just 10 minutes time.

Using the last £10.00 I had in my current a/c.; I brought...

4 x bunches of bananas
1 x Tiramisu cream desert
1 x CoOp shopping bag
1 x packet of chocolate M&M sweets

Afterwards, I crossed over the road to go and visit Sainsbury's...where I brought...

1 x brown bread
1 x box of chocolate browns

Then, I came back home.

Fri 16th Aug 2019 Thoughts: Listing difficulties I need to learn to be able to overcome...

The biggest problems I have at the moment is...

- Lack of monetary funds: I believe my current a/c says a balance of just £1.00! When one is poor; then, it can be extremely difficult to 'save' any money. Because, as soon as you've gone and saved £10.00; multiple bills come in saying you own £100.00+! Thus, you are 'forced' to withdraw all your savings in order to pay these bills; or, worse, you are 'tempted' to go and borrow loans...often at exorbitant interest rates...in order to help pay the bills; which leads to even more bills/and, further troubles way on down the line...whenever your credit limit runs out...and, you can't borrow anymore funds; then, will need to pay all of your creditors back, immediately.

- Lack of fitness: Especially, as I grow older -and, my physical health not being what it used to be- I seem to get lazier and lazier still...I'm not walking/running/stretching/or, otherwise, working out, regularly enough/-etc. I mainly 'think' about working out...just don't get up and do it for 'real'..

- Lack of self-discipline/focus: I suppose, that's all a part of the problems that goes along with having ADD/Attention Deficit Disorder. On the other hand, if the subject does interest me enough...and, there are many subjects which interest me: english/maths/science/computing/programming/martial arts/foreign language/-etc.; then, I am capable to keeping my attention fixed on that subject for a while; but, never for too very long. My attention just tends to wonder from one thing to a next...without fully learning or mastering anything. Then, I tend to forget stuff...; and, will have to go re-learn the same stuff I always went over before...this means I hardly ever make progress to the next step...and, mastery seems impossible to reach ever...as I keep on returning straight back to the beginning, endlessly, again and again.

- Lack of self-esteem/self-worth: Due to having had loads of 'negative' influences coming from purely 'negative' people: prejudice/jealousy/envy/evil malice/hatred/-etc.; therefore, I tend to feel really bad about myself; and, also, do fear rejection to the point of not wishing to interact with others at all...that is, not if I can possibly help it. You see, people with low self-esteem...tend to attract people who are , predators...who like a bunch of filthy hyenas...love to see/feed on the weak. Thus, you find yourself...being less and less willing to reach out to others. Even if you do find a good relationship; then, one tends to do something to destroy it...because you just don't know how to cope with when things are going 'good'; as you're so used to things being 'bad'.

- I'm not happy where I'm living; I'm not happy with the state of the house(it's crumbling...and, I don't have sufficient funds to fix it, properly)/nor do I feel entirely comfortable living amongst people in this neighbourhood. The feeling I constantly have is wishing to move away, and, just desperately wanting to 'escape'...!

- My elderly mum who I live with is just not listening to me...when I tell her take exercise...she just completely ignores me; and, it hurts me to see her deteriorate both 'mentally/physically'. I believe, we need to get some sort of outside help/support; but, would she agree to that...answer: no.