Table of contents:-
-> 1.01 Cat not been feeling well...for the last week or two. In
particular, she seems to have gone off both 'food/drink'...; a quite utterly miserable situation which I find to be very deeply worrying...? Sure
enough, she eats/drinks, sometimes...; but, mostly, not...; whereas
before she used to 'rush' to both eat/drink. Just not too sure exactly
what to do about that...should I 'wait' until when things improve,
possibly.../or, immediately, make an appointment to see a FREE vet...???
-> 1.02 10 AM - 12:30 PM Went to college: Photography and Video class: Room 513/Teacher: Hasina Khanom. Arrived there 1/2 an hour 'late', as usual. We mostly filled in 'end of term' forms; then, afterwards, opened up the FREE online video editing software: CapCut...to go finish off our 'latest' create a video project. I choose to create a video project related to covering the life of the artist, Pablo Picasso.
>
1.03 After class, went upstairs to go visit seeing the college library...6th floor(Room 602).
They closed the library really early, today, at: 2.30 PM. (Normally, the
library closes at 6 PM.) Looked at books: Drawing/Sculpture...;
also, spoke with Thomas Prendegast, who was my former Paper Crafts
teacher...; he was hanging up some framed prints inside of the college
library.
-> 1.04 Went downstairs -1st floor- to go visit the computers room. Decided to update my Picasso related video...; added some further photos.../and, also, included a soundtrack(me talking about the life of Picasso).
-> 1.05 Left college. Brought some £2.00 worth of snack food from Camden High Street 'pound' shop. 1 x pack of 6 chocolate covered small round cakes. 1 x pack of 4 toffee/peanut bars. Eat these on both the street/bus.
->
1.06 From Camden High Street...got off the bus...at Regent's Park.
Decided to go and explore
seeing Regent's Canal. Already knew that one side leads to Camden
locks/but,
where does the other side lead off to, I wondered...? I walked through
Camden canal...; and, ended up exiting out of Camden Canal at Lisson
Grove.
-> 1.07 From Lisson Grove, I took a bus going to Marble Arch;
then, from Marble Arch, took a next bus going off to Victoria. I visited
Victoria McDonald's restaurant, where I
brought myself a 'hamburger' costing: £1.25p(before it used to cost
just
£1.19p). I tried drawing a handicapped McDonald's visitor -(girl)- in a
wheelchair.
->1.08 Afterwards, I went over to go look at the rather 'ornate' church
building being seen off to the side of McDonald's food restaurant...where tourists were taking photographs. Whilst standing up there looking, I also noticed that an 'impromptu' street based 'foodbank' event was about to take place. I got some FREE food from them: a plate of
'fish and rice'.
-> 1.09 Finally, I decided it's time to go off home, now. I walked from
Victoria...taking the winding back streets/as opposed to walking along going down the 'straight' main road...all the way over to Pimlico. -(Seeing these back streets reminded me of when I used to attend going to Westminister Kingsway College, Victoria branch, when younger.)- From
Pimlico...I walked over Vauxhall bridge...down towards Vauxhall station;
where I
took a number 2 bus home.
-> 1.10 Arrived home somewhere just after 10 PM. Was expecting to
have
the cat
greet me at the door. But, saw no cat...?! So, I went all over the house
looking for her. Eventually, I did find the cat...having already
'died'...; she
was lying head down on her right side/being seen with all 4 legs spread going
forwards...; and, with both eyes still
remaining 'open'/wholly 'unmoving'...inside of a wooden lower cabinet
compartment...that was both 'cool and dark' on the inside. (It is with
some tears in my eyes that I remember confronting seeing this scene/and,
a large open wound deep down inside of my heart. Loosing your cat...is like
loosing a
child...so beautiful, totally sweet, friendly, warmly giving, loving,
'innocent'. I will always miss you, enormously, Kitz-Witz; and, thank you for all the love you gave me.../and, to my family, mum.)
-> 1.11 CONCLUSION: Time to move on...; and, get to live a different
sort of life...'living without my cat for company, anymore'...living life all entirely 'alone'.
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-> 1.01 Cat not been feeling well...for the last week or two. In
particular, she seems to have gone off both 'food/drink'...; a quite utterly miserable situation which I find to be very deeply worrying...? Sure
enough, she eats/drinks, sometimes...; but, mostly, not...; whereas
before she used to 'rush' to both eat/drink. Just not too sure exactly
what to do about that...should I 'wait' until when things improve,
possibly.../or, immediately, make an appointment to see a FREE vet...???
-----
Most unfortunately, the cat had NOT been eating/drinking, regularly, anymore. Sometimes, I open up 3 different foods:
- Whiskas, dry food pellets
- Whiskas, cat food pouch
- A small tin of cat food(chicken/fish)
- I even toss in there 1 whole pilchard(if I'm eating a tin of pilchards)
...and, she just refused to even 'touch' it.
Also, when I give her water...; she refuses to touch that, too. (Even without food...; the cat, at least, needs water to drink in order to 'survive'.)
This is a quite utterly miserable situation...which I find to be extremely worrying, indeed...; what the hell could be going wrong...? Does she have a stomach upset, possibly...; I have observed in the past...that whenever my cat is feeling ill...; she will cease eating/drinking, temporarily, for a time...until when she is feeling a lot more better; then, her normal eating/drinking pattern tends to resume...where she absolutely 'races' to eat/drink.
However, in all of those previous cases...of my cat feeling ill -(which, thankfully, is extremely 'rare')-; then, she only goes off her food/drink for say just 1 or 2 days; but, this damn miserable situation has lasted over 1/2 whole weeks long...?!
I'm seriously thinking about having to go consult a FREE vet for an appointment. But, naturally, because one's mind wishes to stay 'positive'...; therefore, I keep thinking to myself...she will be able to recover, soon. (One really doesn't like to think 'the worst'...much preferring one's mind to NOT even go there...???!!!)
-----
I woke up in a terrible 'rush' to get to college...; I should have gotten myself prepared to leave at 8 o'clock.
-(NOTE: My Alexa device woke me up at 8 AM...with a music playing alarm set...; then, still feeling 'tired'...I, immediately, reached out with my hand to go turn the music playing sound 'off'.)-
Instead, I remained asleep until around 8:30 AM. I need, at least, 1 hour long to get myself ready...; so, I already knew I was going to be 'late' getting to college even beforehand...; this is bearing in mind that I have to leave home at 9 AM...; but, I usually end up leaving the house at 9:30 AM, instead. It takes 1 hour long to travel to college...; and, my college course begins at 10 AM. Also, my 60+ FREE London travel pass doesn't start working until when 9 AM comes...(so, it's no use leaving the house before, then...as the travel pass just wouldn't work; plus, with 10+ miles to get to college...there's no way I can walk it there...not at 62 years old...and, with severe Achilles Tendonitis 'pain' affecting both foot heels...causing me to walk really 'slow'...so, I can no longer 'run' about like when I was far younger).
As I'm getting ready to leave...I see my cat lying down flat...inside of the toilet upstairs. Normally, she doesn't tend to do that...; normally, she would be downstairs...where the backgarden door is...waiting to be let out. Downstairs, is also where I leave out the cat food/and, 'fresh' water for her to drink. -(I also leave 'fresh' water/food outside inside of the backgarden, as well.)-
Anyway, as I'm in a hurry to get to college...and, the time has already gone past 9 AM...when I should have left...; so, I bring a plate of food upstairs.../and, also, a water vessel for her to drink from...; and, do place both of these right near the cat...; so that whenever she is ready she is free to help herself.
The cat looked at both the food/drink...; but, didn't actually have any. I really don't know how to 'force' her to eat drink...?!
After that I left to go off to college...leaving the house some time just after 9:30 AM.
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-> 1.02 10 AM - 12:30 PM Went to college: Photography and Video
class: Room 513/Teacher: Hasina Khanom. Arrived there 1/2 an hour
'late', as usual. We mostly filled in 'end of term' forms; then,
afterwards, opened up the FREE online video editing software:
CapCut...to go finish off our 'latest' create a video project. I choose
to create a video project related to covering the life of the artist,
Pablo Picasso.
-----
When I arrived in class...the first hour or so...was used up just filling in 'end of term' forms.
Then, we had a break. I remember one college student was ill...with epilepsy...; -(this is something I'd witnessed seeing happen inside of this same class before, and, to the same student)-; Rebbeha, is her name. The teacher told us all the leave the room...; and, also, turned off the lights...to get the place to remain 'cool'. -(It was 'hot' weather.)-; and, I guess, all of the students were ushered out...so as not to disturb the ill student...by having people, continually, 'stop and stare'...; so, that she could be left alone to recover in both 'quiet and peace'. Too, the students mother was called; her mother comes with her going from home to college/and, then, accompanies her when going back to their own home.
-(NOTE: During the break...I took the opportunity to go walking all over the college...going both upstairs/downstairs...; as I like to peer in through the class room glass doors...; and, so get to see what other classes are happening. I saw: ceramics making/print making/video making/fashion making/-etc. There are 9 floors to walk up in all (plus, lifts); and, each horizontal corridor is long...with there being steps (lifts) at both ends of the corridor/and, a further set of steps (lifts) to be found in the middle of the corridor.)-
When class did resume back...after break time; Rebbeha, was no longer there...; apparently, her mum had come to fetch her...; and, to go take her home to go have a rest.
For all the remainder of the class...we opened up the FREE online 'video editing' software called: CapCut...; in order to continue editing our video project we had started working on previously for the last few weeks. My own video project was related to covering the life of artist: Pablo Picasso.
Frankly, there was not enough time to complete doing the video project...; as the class ended at 12:30 PM.
So, I promised the teacher I would complete doing the rest of the project downstairs inside of the computing room.
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>
1.03 After class, went upstairs to go visit seeing the college library...6th floor(Room 602).
They closed the library really early, today, at: 2.30 PM. (Normally, the
library closes at 6 PM.) Looked at books: Drawing/Sculpture...;
also, spoke with Thomas Prendegast, who was my former Paper Crafts
teacher...; he was hanging up some framed prints inside of the college
library.
Next, I decided to go visit the college library...which is located upstairs on the 6th floor...inside of Room 602.
No sooner had I walked in there...when a bunch of students came in, maybe, 6/7/8...along with their teacher...each one carrying along with them their own 'framed print'. Being a huge art fan...I couldn't help going over there and staring at their art work...it was well produced/and, framed...I would say, done to truly 'professional' standards.
Their teacher...was discussing with them how to do the hanging up of their work inside of the college library; and, eventually, they decided on a scheme that would best suit showing off their art works. The prints are to be hung inside of the college library itself...at the end...which is opposite the reception desk.
-----
Later on, Thomas Prendegast, came in to go do the hanging up in a 'professional' manner.
He used to be my Paper Crafts teacher.
So, eventually, I stopped reading books...; and, went over there to go have a chat with him.
We discussed more about the previous lessons I had attended with him; I told him his lessons had affected me for entire life...which he responded was a huge compliment. He also went and mentioned that he had some artworks framed and up on the walls downstairs...I think, I said I had already noticed seeing it before. The rest of our conversation was discussing the hanging up process...and, how to do that well...art conservation, I believe is the term he himself used.
-----
The librarian lady announced that the library would be closing, today, at 2:30 PM...; whereas, normally, it would close at 6 PM.
When the library closed...I went off downstairs to go visit the computer room...; where I could do some further 'video editing'.
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-> 1.04 Went downstairs -1st floor- to go visit the
computers room. Decided to update my Picasso related video...; added
some further photos.../and, also, included a soundtrack(me talking about
the life of Picasso).
-----
When I went downstairs to the computer room...; normally, I would have 'signed in' using the visitor register book. But, in this particular case, I wasn't too sure exactly how long I was going to stay inside there...; so, I didn't bother 'signing in' at all...; just sat down, and, started using the computer: PC/RM101-09.
-(I think, they take the register...; so that in case of a 'fire alarm', possibly; they will know if anybody is missing...???)-
-----
I opened up CapCut software...; and, started working on the same video that I'd been editing during this morning's Photography and Video class; which was related to artist: Pablo Picasso.
I did an internet search to find Picasso photos...; downloaded some of these photos; and, inserted them -at select parts- inside of the video...; as well as, added some title heading text to go along with it: 'Photos'/-etc.
Next, I put on a computer headset/with microphone...; and, used CapCut 'video editing' software to add a soundtrack....where I talked about the life of Picasso...stating that he lived a long life...died in his 80's/90's; and, had created over 100,000+ artworks/had many lovers, wives, children/-etc.
I saved the video by downloading/(Exporting) it...; and, then, uploaded that file to Microsoft Teams...the Photography and Video folder.
After that, feeling rather thirsty, I took some 'cold water' drink...at the dispenser near the computer room entrance. Went to toilet...; and, also, viewed some ceramics art. The ceramics art room is opposite the men's toilet...; as well as, there is a kiln found at the end of this same corridor...that I cannot resist going into and looking around to see what are the 'latest' ceramic pieces due to be 'fired'.
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-> 1.05 Left college. Brought some £2.00 worth of snack food from
Camden High Street 'pound' shop. 1 x pack of 6 chocolate covered small
round cakes. 1 x pack of 4 toffee/peanut bars. Eat these on both the
street/bus.
-(All the time, my mind is 'thinking' about the cat...; should I return back home, immediately; or, should I seize the opportunity whilst still being 'outside'...to go out for a walk on a fairly 'hot' day?)-
I felt rather hungry to go have some sweets...; as I hadn't had any sweets in what seemed to be quite a while. (After going to college, I would normally buy some sweets from the Camden High Street pound store: Crisps/Popcorn/-etc.)
So, I headed over to the Camden High Street pound shop; and, inside there I brought just 2 items...costing £1.00 each.
- 1 pack of 6 chocolate covered round marshmallows. £1.00.
- 1 pack of 'toffee/peanuts' bars. £1.00.
So, overall, the total price of all the shopping I had done was just merely, £2.00, altogether. (I could have some brought more shopping...; but, I really wasn't too sure about what funds I had still left available to spend inside of my bank current a/c....?! So, I decided it's best to spend less/than, more.)
Later on, I eat these items...either whilst standing up on the street(in a private corner...I don't like other people to watch me eat)/or else, whilst sitting down on the bus(with everybody else's back being turned towards me).
-----
At just the next junction approach upwards along the same street...above the 'pound' store/and, located on the right hand side...is a bus stop, where it's possible to catch a number 88 bus going to Stockwell;
from Stockwell, I can take either a number 2/or, 196 bus home...to West
Norwood bus garage.
However, instead, of an 88 bus coming
along...; -(I'd already missed one 88 after reaching the bus stop slightly too late...!)-; after 10/15 minutes or so...another bus came along, instead.
There are only 2 busses that arrive
at this particular bus stop: 88/and, ? I think, it was a 134/or, something like
that, I forgot...?! Anyway, I decided to jump on and take it ...as I knew -from
previous experience- it would take me off in the general direction that I
wish to head...which is over to Baker Street/or, Marble Arch...from
either of these bus stops...I can get off to take a number 2 bus home.
-(On busses I always tend to sit upstairs, and, in the front...usually, on the left hand side/as opposed to sitting on the right...; in order to obtain what is the best possible overall view: 360 degrees...; thus, allowing me to see 'all' that's going on around me.)-
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->
1.06 From Camden High Street...got off the bus...at Regent's Park. Decided to go and explore
seeing Regent's Canal. Already knew that one side leads to Camden locks/but,
where does the other side lead off to, I wondered...? I walked through Camden canal...; and, ended up exiting out of Camden Canal at Lisson Grove.
-----
I did not 'wait' for the bus to reach journey's end...; but, instead, when
the bus had stopped just outside of Regent's Park. I decided to alight
there...; it was a 'hot' evening...; and, I wanted to get some 'fresh
air'...; rather than remain 'stuck' on the bus.
In my mind, I entertained 2 thoughts...either, walking
through Regents Park...right up to Baker Street station(from previous experience, I already knew the way to walk); or else, walking along along
Camden Canals...I reasoned, where there is water...; then, there is,
usually, a 'cool breeze' blowing...to make me feel less 'hot'.
In
the end, I decided to go exploring around Camden Canal. I already knew
-through experience- that one end of Camden Canal leads to Camden
lock...; which is the point where the Canal ends; but, then, where does
the other side of the Camden Canal lead to, I wondered...??? So, I decided to
explore going down that opposite route, instead.
It was with a certain
amount of trepidation...that I decided to undertake doing this walk...;
partly, because...I'd never been down this particular route before...;
partly, because, I felt even if I got 'lost'...then, I could always
'back track' to find my way out, again; partly, because both my feet are
no longer in full 'running' order, anymore...with Achilles Tendonitis, I
can no longer 'run'...which, in turn, meant my walking journey along
the canal was going to be really 'slow' going...; plus, I don't even
know at what point the canal ends...it could be whole entire miles
long...???
-(I think, a part of me just wanted to get away from
the thought of worrying about the cat...; and, why she is refusing to
'eat/drink', properly. I wanted to be able to place my mind on some
other more 'positive' thoughts, instead. It's not just simply a case, of
whenever I get home...then, she will feed; even if I do get home...she
still refuses to feed/drink...?!)-
Anyway, so, I continued
walking/and, exploring...looking at the really long canal route/mostly
parked boats...I don't recall seeing any 'moving' boats going along the
canal itself/and, too, seeing the occasional duck family gliding
by.../passing bike riders/steady -what I assume to be- long distance
walkers...rather like myself.
A few passers by...I stopped to
ask the question...; 'one end of the canal leads to Camden lock; but,
where does the other end lead to...?' One girl answered me...she didn't
know...because she had entered into the canal route through Regent's
Park. Another more elderly English couple, I asked, quite simply,
answered me: 'I don't know'. So, I just continued walking...
I saw quite a few 'homeless' tents/signs at the side of Camden Canals...; with cards saying please leave some money.
I
also remember passing by some rather ornate buildings/and, posh
gardens...; where the signs said...'private property...keep out...there
are guard dog patrols'. That made me rather worried...; as I said, I
can't run, anymore...; so, I really don't want no dog chasing after me.
Eventually,
as I continued walking for a fair amount of time...maybe, 1 hour or
so...I encountered a point where the canal ended(was sealed off); but, I
did notice a bridge which took me across to other side...; where I
continued walking...heading going along in the same direction, upwards, all along the canal.
At some point, the route cut off, again...;
and, I was led out into the streets. I found myself standing up at Lisson Grove bus
stop. Had never been there before...; but, I did notice when I went and
read which number buses stop there/and, too, their routes...; I discovered one bus was going to Marble Arch...; so, I
decided to 'wait' for that to come along.
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-> 1.07 From Lisson Grove, I took a bus going to Marble Arch; then, from Marble Arch, took a next bus going off to Victoria. I visited Victoria McDonald's restaurant, where I
brought myself a 'hamburger' costing: £1.25p(before it used to cost just
£1.19p). I tried drawing a handicapped McDonald's visitor -(girl)- in a
wheelchair.
-----
At Lisson Grove, when the bus did
arrive...the front of the bus stated it's going to Marble Arch; I felt really quite surprised...as, instead, of proceeding going along in just a straight line...it turned right around the very next corner...I think, it was called something
like Russmore Road/or, Street; and, that led off to, Park Road...which is
where a corner of Regent's Park begins.
At last, I felt I was no longer 'lost', anymore. From
Park Road...the bus went straight past Baker Street station...; and, then, turned right...stopping at Marble Arch station...which was the very last bus stop. The loud speaker announcement came...'this is the last stop'...; so, I knew I had no other choice but to get off.
-----
From Marble Arch I took a bus headed towards Victoria station; where I got off at Victoria.
At this point, I was feeling rather 'hungry'; so, I decided to pop into the Victoria branch of McDonald's(which is a restaurant I'm used to having visited before). Inside there I ordered a 'hamburger'...which, now-a-days, costs: £1.25 (whereas, before the price used to be £1.19).
When I had made my order at the automatic kiosk...which handed me out a ticket...; I think, my ticket collection number said, number: 37.
So, I had to 'wait' until when number 37 came up on screen...stating that my order was now ready to collect.
As I was 'waiting' to collect my order which had to be fully prepared/made up...; I couldn't help but notice...a family with a pretty young girl sitting inside of her wheel chair...who was looking at me, constantly, all the time...as I made my kiosk order/and, inserted my bank debit card to pay for the order; then, took out the ticket the kiosk machine had spouted.
So, as I had some drawing paper/and, a pencil with me. I went and sat down next to that family...middle eastern looking; and, begun to draw her head...whilst she was sitting in the wheel chair. I wouldn't say that all of the drawing came out looking really good...; but, the eyes...which was the part I'd 'started' off drawing...they did look like hers.
I wasn't too sure what to do, next, with the portrait I had just drawn...; give it to the family/or, even, to the wheelchair user herself...; -(this is bearing in mind, the drawing wasn't 'exact'; but, had a number of flaws...proportion wise/hair not quite drawn right/-etc.)-; so, in the end, I shied out of it...and, decided to keep the drawing on me, instead.
Though, ultimately, I did leave the drawing behind inside of the McDonanld's restaurant...in the form of a folded paper origami bird; but, by that time, I had both collected up my hamburger order/and, also, the family whose member I had just drawn, too, had left.
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->1.08 Afterwards, I went over to go look at the rather 'ornate'
church
building being seen off to the side of McDonald's food
restaurant...where tourists were taking photographs. Whilst standing up
there looking, I also noticed that an 'impromptu' street based
'foodbank' event was about to take place. I got some
FREE food from
them: a plate of
'fish and rice'.
-----
As usual, rather than stay inside of McDonald's restaurant and eat. I decided to eat my 'hamburger' whilst moving along in the streets outside.
As a matter of fact, just off to the side of McDonald's food restaurant...there is a huge 'ornate' church...; where I saw tourists stopping to take photos of.
I watched both the tourists taking photos/and, also, stared up at the huge church building for a while...; while, at the same time, taking small bites of my hamburger sandwich...; until when it was all finished.
-----
After some moments, I noticed a group of what looked like being poor people gathering together. It was, then, I suddenly realized...that this is a place where...they are having an impromptu street-based 'foodbank' gathering; and, that there will be FREE food available to eat. So, that's when I walked over there...to go join in with the rest of the people gathering in the queue.
Normally, I would never accept 'street food'; as I really don't know who cooked it/nor, how...; is the food/drink 'safe' to eat...?! -Etc. But, in this particular case, I really didn't care less...; I was going to give the food a 'try', anyhow.
They gave me a plate full of 'rice/fish'; in fact, there was plenty more than that...a slice of plantain/and, greens/beans/-etc.
When I'd finished eating...I felt really quite full...; and, just hoped that the food I just ate wouldn't make me feel sick/or, want to do a bowel movement before I'd arrived back home. (Luckily, everything worked out ok.)
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-> 1.09 Finally, I decided it's time to go off home, now. I walked from
Victoria...taking the winding back streets/as opposed to walking along
going down the 'straight' main road...all the way over to Pimlico.
-(Seeing these back streets reminded me of when I used to attend going
to Westminister Kingsway College, Victoria branch, when younger.)- From
Pimlico...I walked over Vauxhall bridge...down towards Vauxhall station;
where I
took a number 2 bus home.
-----
My next job was to go off home...; but, using which route I wondered...?
And, do I wish to get on the bus.../or, take underground tube train...?
Anyway,
because I was already on the back streets of Victoria...; so, I decided
to continue to take the back streets...; and, very slowly, walk my way
over towards where Pimlico station is. From Pimlico station it's
possible to take a number 2 bus home.
I could, of course, have
chosen to take the main high road...; which is just a single 'straight'
road leading downwards...going all the way from Victoria over to
Pimlico.
But, in this particular case, I decided I much
preferred taking the back streets, instead, where not so many people can
see me...; especially, if it's possible that I might, suddenly, be
'sick'...after eaten some 'strange' food...?! (I didn't bother taking
any drinks they offered me...; as I knew then I might need to 'piss'.)
-----
As
I walked along...proceeding going down back streets...some of which I'd
never actually been down before...? If there is a choice between taking
back streets which I already knew.../and, taking back streets which I don't
know...; then, I would much prefer to take the back streets I still don't
know, yet...; this is done in order to get to increase my overall understanding of the way a district is being laid out; and, also, getting to know what shops/sports facilities/churches/small parks/-etc. are available to be seen along the back streets. Some of these back street buildings were also the back
of some front entrance shops...being seen along what is the main high
road...; so, all the time, I knew that the main road was somewhere really close(therefore, I wasn't just completely 'lost').
I remember, during one back entrance road turning,
encountering a group of guys...at first, 3...; then, I saw 2...don't
know where the other one went...? I recall that these 2 were on bikes;
and, one of them said out loud...he'd gotten punched 8 times in the
head. That kind of made me feel a little bit 'scared'...; are these back
streets somehow or other really 'dangerous'...? But, luckily...the guys
went off their way...down a side street turning...; and, I tried my
utmost best not to look at them...as I don't want to invite any
unnecessary attention to myself...; and, I just continued going my
way...which was perpendicular to their route. After that, there weren't that
many, seriously, eventful incidents.
Though, I do recall when I did get
down to reach being near Pimlico station...; and, standing near Carey Place bus stop...; seeing
some short disabled 'old' Asian man...possibly, Chinese...? He asked me for
some change...; but, I just told him, 'no, sorry, I don't have no spare
change'.
I did see somebody else give him some change, though...; a white guy who entered a shop/and, then, came back out, again.
-----
In the mean time, going along my walk through the back streets of Victoria...I had vividly clear memories...of coming across a certain grass square...; which, at the other side, is located Westminister Kingsway College, Victoria branch entrance...which I use to attend when I was younger...say half my current age.
-----
For a while, I stood up at the bus stop waiting for a number 2 bus to come along; but, the traffic I noticed was pretty much at a total 'stand still'...meaning, there was so much of it...???
The bus stop electronic notice board said...; the number 2 bus would arrive in 13 minutes or so...; that's when I decided to go and take some further exercise...by walking over Vauxhall bridge...; always, a very good sight to see...on both sides of the bridge.
Sure enough, I really wasn't too disappointed...I saw a 'fast' moving river boat...as well as the massive River Thames huge swell of water...; too, alongside the river banks, buildings/trees/-etc.; amongst these is included the MI5 'top secret' spy building which is located at the end of Vauxhall bridge.
Eventually, at the bottom of Vauxhall bridge, I crossed over the road/main bridge...; and, crossed over, again, at he traffic lights...to find myself standing up at Vauxhall station waiting for the number 2 bus to come along.
I even crossed the road, once more...; and, entered into a Waitrose food store...; but, I didn't see any 'cheap' food selling there...; so, I decided to return back to where I was standing up waiting before.
I didn't need to wait much too long, though; and, the number 2 bus came along to go take me home.
On the bus, I did an A4 drawing...covering both sides of the sheet. On one side of the sheet I tried drawing a female head...she looked Asian; and, on the other back side of the same sheet...I drew a hand. This sheet of paper, because I didn't think that either drawing was good enough...; so, I left it on the bus...for somebody else to go find/or, throw away.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-> 1.10 Arrived home somewhere just after 10 PM. Was expecting to
have
the cat
greet me at the door. But, saw no cat...?! So, I went all over the house
looking for her. Eventually, I did find the cat...having already
'died'...; she
was lying head down on her right side/being seen with all 4 legs spread
going
forwards...; and, with both eyes still
remaining 'open'/wholly 'unmoving'...inside of a wooden lower cabinet
compartment...that was both 'cool and dark' on the inside. (It is with
some tears in my eyes that I remember confronting seeing this scene/and,
a large open wound deep down inside of my heart. Loosing your cat...is
like
loosing a
child...so beautiful, totally sweet, friendly, warmly giving, loving,
'innocent'. I will always miss you, enormously, Kitz-Witz; and, thank
you for all the love you gave me.../and, to my family, mum.)
-----
Looking back, I don't know why I decided to remain staying out for so damned long for the day. (Did a part of my own 'unconcious' somehow already know what might happen....?)
I recall when I'd left home...; the first thing I did on leaving...was to promise myself to return back home as 'quickly' as is possible...; because I already knew the cat wasn't 'eating/drinking', properly; and, with me being home with her...then, maybe, I could somehow 'tempt' her to eat/drink.
But, no, I did not do any of that...instead, I did just exactly the opposite...which was to run away from all the troubles I knew I had to go deal with...whenever I return coming back home, again.
-----
Certainly, I did not know beforehand that the cat was going to 'die' that day. Quite honestly, I was hoping she would be able to fully recover, and, soon, too.
Thus, it came as some 'big' surprise to me...and, a 'shock'...to return back home, and, to suddenly find my cat lying down 'dead'.
Normally, she would come to greet me as soon as she heard me open up the front door by using the keys; because she wanted me to give her some food/drink.
But, of course, she was 'sick'...; so, when I opened up the door I didn't witness seeing/nor, for that matter hearing any cat.
So, I checked all around to see if I could find her...I remember searching through the whole house...looking behind this object/behind that...searching both 'downstairs/upstairs'...no cat...?!
Can't even hear her, anymore...; if I heard her...; then, of course, I would have moved off to wherever that sound was coming from.
-----
So, with everything being just totally 'silent'...I had to just keep on rather 'blindly' searching...; because I know my cat...; and, I know her habits...; therefore, I also know that when she is 'sick'...she will go and find somewhere 'cool and dark and quiet' to stay...even if it's underneath the bed(which is where she had kittens, last).
Recently, though, I had noticed that she had found a cupboard...located just outside of the kitchen area on the landing...; where the bottom most compartment forms a sort of square box...; and, much to my surprise, that's exactly where I had found her...having climbed into....during one particular day when I could NOT find her...??? This must have been one day during this same week...
Well, I went and looked inside there...; and, that's when I saw the most truly horrible sight. My cat with both her head/body lying down' flat' on her right side...4 legs extended being stretched out going forwards...and, with both eyes remaining wide open...; and, just keeping perfectly 'still'.
I knew something must be seriously wrong, then...; as, normally, whenever my cat sees me...she 'moves'...; but, this time...there was no movement coming from out of her at all.
Basically, I knew what must have happened, then...; but, just to be perfectly sure...; I decided to reach out and stroke her for just one more time...; to see what would happen, then...; and, with absolutely nil response.
No rib cage breathing movement...where her rib cage moves 'up and down' to indicate she's 'alive'...; just absolutely nothing in terms of movement....her whole body remaining there being perfectly 'still'...; and, at that point, it was confirmed that my cat was all completely gone.
Maybe, not physically...in the sense that I can still 'see' her weakened corpse, dead, lifeless, body that's totally 'not moving', anymore; but, in terms of, being able to physically 'interact'...she's all gone.
All I could do was wish her peace in her afterlife...; that is, if cat's have an afterlife...; who knows, some religions say we are 'reborn' as either this or that...? But, I'm not too sure how much I believe in such religions.
'The Lord giveth...; and, the Lord taketh...', as they say. I made the sign of the cross...; said, a quick prayer...that she may long rest in peace...; and, basically, left things at that.
-----
Now, with the cat dead...there are many 'negative' things that goes through my mind...
- Is it possible that cat was deliberately poisioned...by the neighbours...who didn't want to see her coming into their garden?
- Could it have been that the supermarket food had been either accidentally/or else, deliberately poisoned...?
- Could the cat have eaten/drunk something on the outside...that she shouldn't have...?
- Or, could it be that the cat had 'cancer'...; and, I just didn't know it, yet...?
- Etc.
But, at the end of the day...no matter what might have caused the cat's death to happen...; there is no way I will ever be able to get her back.
Fare thee well, Kitz Witz. I will, always, miss you enormously...; and, thanks very much for the love that you were so willing to give to both me/and, my mum.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-> 1.11 CONCLUSION: Time to move on...; and, get to live a different
sort of life...'living without my cat for company, anymore'...living life all entirely 'alone'.
-----
I'm writing this conclusion part the very next day...; and, have to confess that I still haven't buried my cat, yet/(or, otherwise, disposed of the cat's body).
- One option is to bury the cat inside of the back garden. But, I'm not really into worshiping or caring for animal corpses. I'm more into loving the cat whilst it's still 'alive'. If it was a human being...; then, I'd be a lot more willing to go pay for their funeral...and, stand up at their graveside, regularly, in order to pay my respects.
- Another option is to place it into some bag; then, dispose of the corpse elsewhere...such as placing it into a black plastic bag...and, then, dump that bag into a public bin. (Some might read that as being very disrespectful...; but, each to their own, I guess...; the way I personally do see it is...what's gone is gone. When my gold fish died...I didn't try burying it inside of the back garden; instead, I just bagged it up; then, dumped it elsewhere into a public bin. I'm not interested in telling anybody else what to do or think/and, I don't need them telling me what to do/or, think, neither...whenever it comes to dealing with the death of pets. I did hear that in certain countries...such as America...they do have a animal cemetary. Like I've already said, each to their own.)
-----
As to my living life being without my cat...; well, I did always 'think' about this type of thing might happen one day, either sooner or later...; after all animal lives...by which, I mean, either: 'cat/dog'...tends to be far shorter than is human lives...; I guess, that's why animals tend to be packed with so much 'extra energy' which they tend to burn off for each and every single day.
So, I knew the day would come...whether I liked it or not...; and, I also thought about what I might do, afterwards, when the cat is no longer here...?
I still have options...
- Get another cat/kitten...(possibly, adopt)
- Give myself time...to be cat free...; and, there is one less thing to have to worry about. (Of course, I don't say that 'coldly'...; I would 'love' to own another cat...;
but, just not, right now. Next time, I will make sure I take out regular cat Vet insurance, which can be paid monthly...; and, also, make certain to take my pet to go and see the animal Vet, regularly.)
For now, I still need to deal with the cat's bodily disposal...; and, hopefully, before the rest to this forlorn day is all over and done.
-----
Of course, we all do suddenly come to realize just how deeply 'precious' is the thing we have only when it's long gone. Each moment...having her here to play with/and, comfort me...was a pure 100% 'joy'...! ;-)
----
-(As one final note, I did try taking a few photos of the cat with 'rigor mortis' having set in...; when she was all totally 'rigid and stiff'.
But, I did NOT choose to 'share' those photo pics with others...; as, quite honestly, I felt it would be in really 'bad' taste.
In fact, I will 'delete' all of the 'dead' photo pictures...; because I would much prefer to keep and see only photos of my cat being quite fully 'alive'...; as that's the only way I like to 'think' of her as being both now and in future.)-
