Tue 9th July 2019 Stayed in...drew a bit using Zen Brush App - Version 2

DIFFICULTIES SLEEPING AT NIGHT/DIFFICULTIES REMAINING AWAKE DURING THE DAY

Unfortunately, of late, I been suffering lot of broken sleep. I need to have, at least, a full 8 hours rest in order to feel fully recovered; otherwise, I just end up feeling really 'tired' constantly all the time.

One reason for the broken sleep patterns...is having to go look after my elderly mother's needs/as well as, having to attend to all of my own.

Add in there such things as late night 'insomnia'...; I usually go to sleep somewhere around 5 AM mornings; and, is it any wonder that I have tremendous difficulties staying up during the days...?!

On top of all this, I still am suffering from a severe eye inflammation condition called: Uveitis...and, am having to administer drops into my left eye, regularly, every couple of hours. The eye feels really blurry...especially, when I have no other choice left but to go out...and, am riding my bike along in the streets. I find I really can't wait to get back home, again.

MISSED KEEP FIT CLASS: AIKIDO, AGAIN

Unfortunately, due to my not feeling very well; therefore, I decided to miss my Aikido practice, again; just like I did last week. This is not good, as I can feel my whole body fast becoming entirely heavy, stiff, slow; when it should be the exact opposite...becoming both supple and strong, and, moving faster and faster.

My not going along to Aikido makes me feel rather deeply ashamed...because it's not that I could not...more I would not...in other words, it was all due to my quite deliberate choice.

Frequently, I suffer from ADD/Attention Deficit Disorder...and, the truth is, I just wasn't ready for class in time; so, that's mainly why I missed it. I had eaten food which still wasn't fully digested, yet; my eye still doesn't feel too well; not fully washed/dressed, yet; on top of all this I owe the guy £20.00; and, I 'm broke! My mind/body/finances just didn't feel 'right' to go out, and, attend class; so, I truly wasn't ready, yet.

Hopefully, who knows, maybe, this week Thursday/or, possibly, some time during next week I will return.

PRACTICED DOING A LITTLE BIT OF DRAWING USING ZEN BRUSH APP - VERSION 2

Normally, I tend to draw using my finger on the iPad 4...whilst still in bed...using an app called: Zen Brush; however, I've downloaded at least 3 different versions of this program:-

-> Zen Brush (Basic drawing app/save to normal camera photos)

-> Zen Brush 2 (A slightly more advanced drawing app...offering dry/medium/liquid drawing brushes...and, also, save...and, re-load, again...all within the app itself. You can also save externally to camera photos, as well.)

-> Zen Brush Art (This is not a drawing app.; but rather it's looking at what others have drawn.)

-(NOTE: I won't even try loading any of those...; as they are NOT my own property.)-

Mon 8th July 2019 05:10 PM Picturehouses.com/Brought ticket to West Norwood Cinema - Watched movie: Midsommar

RETURNED BACK TO VISITING THE CINEMA...WHICH I HAVEN'T DONE IN ABSOLUTE AGES

I used to be a member of both Odeon/and, Cineworld; but, that was years back. So, recently,...
http://www.picturehouse.com
...I went and brought an online membership to PictureHouse.com...choosing my home town, West Norwood, as being my favourite branch.

4 PM Today, I went to West Norwood Library to printout the 2 emails -(the printouts cost only 10p per page)- which were sent to me by PictureHouse.com...as I needed to show these at the cinema desk in order to go collect my membership card.

NOTE: Both Library and Cinema are housed together inside of the one same building.

As planned, after doing the printouts...I went and collected my picturehouse.com membership card at the desk.

5:10 PM I went to the online web site of PictureHouse.com...and, ordered 1 x  ticket to go and watch a movie called: Midsommar. Then, realising I was already 'late'...I returned back to West Norwood Library...this time to go visit the Cinema, and, watch my chosen movie.

https://www.picturehouses.com/cinema/West_Norwood/film/midsommar

Apparently, Student Membership entitles me 2 FREE tickets...already, I've gone and used 1 FREE ticket...and, therefore, I have only 1 more FREE ticket left to go watch a next movie.

Student Membership also entitled me to FREE popcorn/and, a drink(I chose, Tango).

The movie -which I've never seen before- was enjoyable...and, the scenes were arty...the story was about a group of American's who went to visit Sweden...and, then, later on, turned into becoming a horror movie...with people dying/or, having to do things against their own will(forced sex).

Overall, I did enjoy the experience...of watching a huge screen...with a shared audience.

Certainly, I do very much look forwards to going back to re-visit there, again.

7 PM Afterwards, I felt really hungry; and, hopped over the street to go visit SubWay...ordered a foot long Meatball Marinella with grilled cheese/and, vegetables. Came back home; and, eat the lot.

10:45 PM Went down to my local high street; and, brought some fish & chips + 1 sausage in batter. Finishing the night with a full belly. Shared the chips with my mum.

CONCLUSION

It's nice to be part of a cinema group, again. I really missed not going there anymore for years. I'm not even too sure exactly how long it's been. But, if you are used to going to a place, regularly; like, at least, once per week/or, more...; and, you haven't been there in whole months/years...then, it feels like being whole entire decades long since you ever returned.

Fri 5th July 2019 6:30-8:30 PM Dulwich Picture Gallery - Drew a picture scroll

Fri 5th July 2019 6:30-8:30 PM Dulwich Picture Gallery - Drew a picture scroll

I'd already gone and brought a £5.00 ticket to join in a 'late' evening art session at Dulwich Picture Gallery called: Line and Form. (I was actually thinking the drawing session might be related to drawing human bodies/but, no, I was wrong...it was more nature/and, still life related.)

I arrived there 'late', as usual....with only about 10 minutes to spare. However, this session did not take place inside of the actual gallery itself; but, instead, outside.

I had forgotten to print out my ticket...so, really wasn't too sure, if they would accept me or not; however, apparently, my name was already down on the list. (What surprised me was, they also said you can pay simply by turning up...and, paying at the register desk.)

My next big surprise was I was fully expecting to see loads of students...or, at least, a handful/or, two; but, in fact, when I inquired there were only 2 people who had paid to attend the event. One of those was me/and, also, a lady who I met and spoke with only very briefly; they didn't seem to be all that interested in drawing...not sure if they might have left early? Which pretty much left only me alone to complete the whole class.

There were other people there such as DWP Guides; as well as, others who tend to serve food/drinks.

The session was largely 'untaught'; and, so, you basically did anything you pleased/any way you pleased.

I did discuss what the purpose of today's session was with one female guide;  and, they said it as to draw anything you can see...either in front/backwards/or, to the sides.

There was lots of drawing equipment's provided mostly dark monotone: black/white/grey...chalks/felt tips/coloured pencils/charcoal/graphite stick/pencils/-etc.

And, you were handed a scroll...which is really a roll of 'blank' white wallpaper...to go and draw on.

I took a while to fill up my own scroll...I drew pictures of...

1> The surrounding park-like area with grass/trees
2> The 'newly' constructed building in the center
3> Yoga session, I remember having done at DWP
4> Two people kissing, I recalled an Oriental wedding I saw there
5> Me, drawing(I've done many drawing sessions there before.
6> Me riding my bike there...I go there regularly as a member
7> The 3 sculpture rocks

...so, what I actually drew was a mixture of 'invented' scenes; and, also, 'real life' scenery.

Now, I could have turned my gaze around; and, tried drawing the front of the building, too; however, by that time...I felt really and truly tired...and, just wanted to go off home, and, sleep.

The female guide...went and sprayed my drawing with some 'fixative'...and, cut off the part of the scrolling wallpaper that I'd gone and used -(I wasn't allowed to keep the whole of the wallpaper scroll...which is what I'd been hoping)-; and, basically, I left there with that.

It was an OK drawing session; though, really strange...as somebody with 'social phobia'...I didn't find it too easy working up enough courage to go and talk to complete strangers much; instead, I tried my best to only concentrate on doing drawing, alone.

-----

FUTURE DWP FRIDAY ART SESSIONS THIS SAME JULY 2019

I also went and paid another 2 x lots of £5.00 to attend 2 more 'late' Friday art sessions at DWP during this same month. I'm wondering what those other sessions will be alike?

1> One session will be next week Friday(120719): Getting to know you(draw others)

2> The last session I paid for will be at the end of the month (260719) Paper Patterns(drawing + origami).

NOTE: I'm also 'thinking' of paying to take other sessions during this same month, namely: paper cutting/naked neon/-etc.

Thu 4th July 2019 Signed on at Streatham/Went art class-arrived too late/Lil Sullivan's home...internet connection dropped

Thursday 4th July 2019

SIGNED ON AT STREATHAM JOB CENTER

1:40 PM So far to date, London has been having a 'heatwave'. This was another very hot sunny day...quite truly, splendid, in fact...however, because I had already stayed up 'late' from last night...; therefore, I felt really lazy...didn't wish to go out...only wanted go back to sleep.

Then, all of a sudden I recalled I have to sign on at Streatham Job Center...the appointment time being 1:10 PM; and, now, I was 'late'...as the clock already said 1:40 PM! Anyway, I went there on my bike...pedalling away as quickly as is possible. I made up an excuse...and, luckily the person I signed on with brought it...basically, all I said was, "I went to toilet!" Signed on; then, came away.

NOTE: The person said they would email me a letter -as the printer wasn't working- of proof of benefit; that I could, later on, print out by myself. I needed that proof to get in contact with Central London Works...who help people to find work.

SHOPPED AT STREATHAM ALDI STORE

I brought some shopping at Streatham Aldi store...which sells food really cheaply.

- 3 x bags of carrots
- 3 x bags of potatoes
- 2 x bags to carry this 'heavy' stuff back home

I believe the total cost was around £10.00; because I had less that £10.00 left on my debit card.

...balanced both bags on each side of my bikes handlebars; then, rode all the way back home.

PHONED MY ART TEACHER

When I came back in, again, I went and phoned my art teacher...as there is an art class, today...2-5 PM at Ackerman Medical Health Center, Vauxhall. I explained to her that I'm really not up to going out, today; so, I think, I'm not going to come. However, she insisted that I should, at least, try.

HAVING A NIL BALANCE ON MY CURRENT A/C. FORCED ME TO GO OUT AND MAKE A DEPOSIT

I was going to not go out...wanted desperately to fall asleep, instead; but, when I went and checked my bank a/c. balance it said absolutely nil; I mean, quite literally: £0.00 balance!

That's when, I knew I would have to go and top it up straight away...otherwise, if any bill comes in/then, goes out 'unpaid'...the bank is going to add on further charges/and, the company that tried taking the money...might also choose to add on further 'unpaid' charges to what was my original bill!

-(For example, TalkTalk...tried taking out £24.xx; the which money was refused due to insufficient  bank balance...then, TalkTalk added on a further £12.xx to the original bill for having a direct debit that bounced.)-

I went and deposited £30.00 into my current a/c.; then, used the ATM machine to take out a fiver; thus, leaving just £25.00 remainder balance.

I VISITED ACTIONSPACE AT VOLTAIRE STUDIOS IN STREATHAM

I spoke to a lady about joining Actionspace at Voltaire Studios in Streatham; the lady said I need to talk to somebody else...; and, she handed me a card with a phone number...for which I thanked her, and, left.

I WENT TO MY ART CLASS IN VAUXHALL

I continued onto my art class in Vauxhall, Ackerman Medical Health Center. When I arrived there...they were already packing up. During my previous telephone conversation with Lil...she said there were 3 students there; but, when I arrived I only saw one...a Jamacian lady called: Kate...who said she had a son of 24/and, I think, she mentioned a daughter. Anyway, she has a car...and, used it to offer Lil a ride both to pick her home from home; then, take her to the Ackerman; and, finally, to return her back home, again.

VISITED LIL SULLIVAN'S HOUSE

The teacher Lil Sullivan asked me to come to her home to help her do some uploading to the computer; as she wishes to sell artworks online...but, due to the nature of her disabilities -(stroke victim/one side of her body not working, properly, at all)- she cannot do it herself. So, I went and visited her home...at 45 Lilford Road. (She showed us her back garden, which I'd never seen before; very small; and, I also noted some further artworks on her wall.) However, the problem was the computer internet connection wasn't working; thus, I had to leave really early...without having uploaded anything. Phoned Sky to come and fix the internet connection...after doing a remote 'line test'...they said, they believe the problem might be to do with outside...they will come to fix it within 3 to 5 days.

RODE HOME/SLEPT

I rode my bike back home; and, basically, went to sleep.

(The time is now 3:39 AM Friday morning; and, I'm sitting at the desktop computer writing these notes...trying my best to remember all that happened, yesterday. Of course, there are many things I left out...either deliberately...being of little note/or else, accidentally...because I forgot/or, I just feel far too damned lazy to go add any more onto this particular diary entry...?!)

Having insufficient money worries me an awful lot...certainly far more than I even got words to say...; because, what if, a sudden emergency were to ever happen...; then, I got no money to help see me through that particular bad patch...it's really scary...that I prefer not to even 'think' about that...just trying my best to remain strictly 'positive'...and, always, hoping for the best...that life will get far better/and, not far worse. But, the truth is, I feel like I'm living being balanced on a 'knife edge'...aware that at any moment...things could go totally downhill...with, maybe, no possible hope of recovering. But, then, again, isn't life like that for anybody and everybody...I mean, who knows what the hell the future might bring...we can only merely guess...?






 

Wed 3rd July 2019 8 PM (approx.) Joined: picturehouses.com/Brought 3 x DWP tickets/2 x Darius Foroux .pdf links/Reading book: Once an addict

Wed 3rd July 2019 8 PM (approx.)

DIDN'T GO OUT ANYWHERE/THOUGHT ABOUT IT...BUT, STAYED IN

-(Unfortunately, although I been 'thinking' about going out from ever since morning...in reality, I did not; just simply stayed inside of the home. I could hardly even believe it when I looked at the time, and, it already said gone past midnight...?! So, next day's morning had already begun...)

CURRENTLY READING A BOOK WHICH IS RELATED TO 'ADDICTION'

Some days back, when I rode my bike over to Van Gogh Walk in Vauxhall are...where there is a 'book exchange' box...I picked out 2 books to go and read:

Book 1: 'Once an Addict'/200 pages - Barry Woodward and Andrew Chamberlain

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Once-Addict-Fascinating-Escape-Underworld/dp/1860246028/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=once+an+addict&qid=1562376600&s=gateway&sr=8-1


Normally, I find I can't read through books; especially, those that go endlessly on and on...such as, very lengthy classics...sure enough, I 'buy' them...in the vain hope that I will muster together sufficient courage to go and read them, later...but, the truth is, I don't ever get around to doing any of that...hence, my house is almost completely covered in books that are so far to date, totally unread...?! 

Now-a-days, I tend to vastly prefer reading through 'real-life' documentary type of books...as opposed to studying pure 'fiction'; and, I do exactly the same thing in regards to watching the TV...rather than watching Dracula/Frankenstein; instead, I tend to much prefer watching 'real life' crime related documentaries, instead...everything from Serial Killers/to professional thieves.

However, this book is a fairly short one...consisting of only 200 pages in length; and, each chapter -which I dip into reading every now and then- is only around 10 pages long. Already, I'm nearly half way through the book; and, I 'm pretty sure I will get to the end...mainly because 'addiction' is a subject which does very deeply interest me...; as I suffer from having multiple 'addictions' myself, including all of the following and more: food/drink/gambling/internet/worry/fear/-etc.; and, those are just the ones I'm willing to open up and admit to...whilst there are many more which I tend to keep completely 'hidden'..out of sheer embarrassment/sense of shame...!

The other book I went and borrowed that same day was called:

Book 2: 'Memoirs of a Geisha' - Arthur Golden

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Memoirs-Geisha-Arthur-Golden/dp/0099771519/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=memoirs+of+a+geisha&qid=1562376669&s=gateway&sr=8-1

...don't know when I'll get around to reading that particular one; but, I am very deeply interested in learning more about Japanese culture/history; however, that book is 428+ pages long...; and, so, I been rather hesitant to even 'start'.

JOINED MY LOCAL CINEMA

I decided to go and join:

http://www.picturehouses.com

The joining fee for 'student membership' is £25.00.

The membership card details are emailed to you...so that you can, later on, 'print' them out.../or else, refer to the email by using your mobile phone.

As I don't actually have a mobile phone that I can use at the moment; therefore, I think I will have to go and 'print' the details out, possibly, tomorrow; then, take the printed out email down to my local picturehouse in West Norwood to obtain a proper membership card.

BROUGHT 3 ONLINE TICKETS @ £5.00 EACH TO DO ART AT DULWICH PICTURE GALLERY

http://www.dulwichpicturegallery.org.uk

https://www.dulwichpicturegallery.org.uk/whats-on/pavilion/2019/july/pavilion-art-tasters/

I was looking through the Dulwich Picture Gallery events listing..; when I saw they were having a few evening art classes; so, I decided why not join in. The cost of each ticket was fairly low: £5.00/(tickets are emailed for later printing out).

Event name: Line And Form - Fri 5th July 2019 6 PM
Event name: Getting to know you - Fri 12th July 2019 6 PM
Event name: Paper Patterns - Fri 26th July 2019 6 PM

Some other ticketed events were a lot more expensive...I'm still thinking about buying one of those...?!

JOINED THE WEB SITE OF: DARIUS FOROUX

http://www.dariusforoux.com

...FREE to join articles...read by many. When you join up, you also get to download for FREE 2 .pdf files...

1> The road to better habits...

https://convertkit.s3.amazonaws.com/assets/documents/77957/2005937/The_Road_To_Better_Habits_-_Darius_Foroux.pdf

2> From procrastinate hero to procrastinate zero...

https://dariusforoux.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/from-procrastinate-hero-to-procrastinate-zero-2019.pdf

Tue 2nd July 2019 4 PM Went DWP/Dulwich Picture Gallery...saw: The Grovesnor Group 'prints' exhibition...

VISITED DULWICH PICTURE GALLERY

http://www.dulwichpicturegallery.org.uk/

Well, it's been ages since I ever went and visited Dulwich Picture Gallery. However, today, I decided to go and take a look...just to see what is their 'latest' exhibition.

I entered the gallery rather 'late'...knowing that the last admittance would be 4 PM, usually; however, I still managed to get in...by showing them my DWP membership card.

The 'latest' exhibtion shows off a number of prints by different print making artists.

Cutting Edge: Modernist British Printmaking 19th June - 8th September

https://www.dulwichpicturegallery.org.uk/whats-on/exhibitions/2019/june/cutting-edge-modernist-british-printmaking/

Mon 1st July 2019 Went West Norwood Community shop where I saw Loui Blackwood

MONDAY, STOCKING UP FOOD/DRINK DAY

Monday, is generally speaking a 'stocking up' day...when I tend to do a lot of shopping...because just as you buy the 'food/drink'...it also tends to run out, completely, eventually. As I dislike going shopping, regularly...; therefore, I try my best to stock up as much as is possible; but, of course, there is limited room that a small fridge can hold...we have 3 small fridges; which is why I'm nearly always 'thinking' of buying a really big fridge, instead...that is, whenever I'm able to afford it.

WEST NORWOOD CO OP/BROUGHT DRINKS

12:00 The first place I went and visited was my local West Norwood Co Op store; where I went and brought around 20 drinks.

8 x Cherryade (Sugar Free) 0.69 p each
8 x Diet Cola  0.69 p each
4 x Apple cider 0.49 p each

I think the shopping bill came to around £11.00+ and some pence. I brought the 'cheapest' drinks I could find.

...it was really difficult having to go carry all of that lot home; which came to a huge weight. I just place 2 sets of bags together...one inside of the other...and, balanced the shopping on either side of my bicycle handle bars...they walked home(would have been far too wobbly to ride home).

WEST NORWOOD CO OP/BROUGHT FOOD

I made a 2nd visit to the Co op...this time in order to buy some food. I brought...

(Forgot to buy some banannas..?!)
5 x West Indies Hot Pepper sauce
1 x Tiramisu cream cake
-etc.

I think the shopping bill was £15.00+.

WEST NORWOOD COMMUNITY SHOP/BROUGHT FOOD

2PM Mon 1st July 2019 I went and visited my local West Norwood community shop -(in there it's possible to buy food really cheaply...maybe, a third of what it would cost to buy inside of a normal shop...; but, only if you're already a member)- where, surprisingly enough, I saw an old childhood friend, Loui Blackwood; his mother used to baby sit me when I was a child(not sure if he actually works there; forgot to  ask). Briefly, I spoke to him about Sissy..his mum's sister who is, now, paralysed inside of a Streatham care home. I also told him about my own elderly mum's condition, as well.

Did some shopping there...; I think, around £35.00's worth...paid £20.00 note in cash/and, the rest I paid using my Pockit pre-paid debit card. I brought...

(NOTE: 6 is the maximum limit that the Community shop allows you to buy.)
6 x half tins of baked beans
6  x chocolate/nougat  ice creams
6 x chocolate biscuits
2 x pork sausages
2 x packets of cook ham
1 x packet of cook ham (different variety)
2 x vegetable pastries
2 x packets of wheat cereal (2 x different varieties neither of which I've ever tried before)
-etc.

Again, I used the bike's handle bars to carry everything home inside of 4 reinforced shopping bags(one stuck inside of another).

HARDEL RISE DOCTOR'S SURGERY

4 PM Went to Hardel Rise, Tulse Hill surgery to pick up a prescription for my mum; they told me that she had an appointment to see Doctor Turner at 4 PM; so, I went and made my mum another appointment...which they wrote down...can't find the appointment card, right now, though. They said don't miss the next appointment.

TATE BRITAIN GALLERY

4:30 PM - 6 PM I rode my bike off to go and visit Tate Britain, again. I did a few sketches...

1> A female nude...I copied a sculpture showing 2 females/and, a guy...but, I only choose to concentrate on doing one female nude, alone. Signed/dated it...left it there for others to see/steal.

2>  A male head...I copied the statue: An athlete wrestling a Python. Again, I signed/dated it...and, left it there for others to see/steal. 

3> Sticking with sculpture 2...I copied the snakes head...not very effectively, I'm afraid; this sketch...which was my last of the day...I decided to take back home with me. 

Much to my surprise...as I was leaving the drawing room...a guard stopped me...and, took away a whole bunch of A3 papers that others had drawn on...one side was a mess/the other 'blank'...I was hoping to be able to sketch on the 'blank' side. I think, the guard didn't like me taking any extra papers away...so, I didn't  bother to argue with him...just simply let him take the papers back; and, left without even saying a word. 

7 PM STEATHAM ALDI STORE/BROUGHT FOOD

Streatham Aldi, is another place where you can buy food really cheaply. I went and brought...

(wanted to buy potatoes...but, saw none left)
2 x Tomatoes (6 pack)
3 x Cheese Puff Crisps
1 x packet of ice cream lollies
2 x Soya bean milk
1 x small bottle of Almond seasoning
-etc.

I think, the shopping bill was £15.00 +.

7:15 PM STREATHAM/ACTION SPACE/VOLTAIRE STUDIOS

I went and checked out Voltaire Studios in Streatham. ActionSpace does some arts there...and, I wanted to see if it was possible to join them.

(NOTE: I used to be a member of ActionSpace, before; but, was 'forced' to leave after taking some paper I shouldn't have. Basically, i wanted to practise doing some origami...and, couldn't see any spare sheets...so, I went and opened a package.)

-----

CONCLUSION: Did an awful lot of shopping, today...with not much money left to spend for all the rest of the week; so, paying other bills might get a bit difficult(Council Tax/Gas/Electricity/Water Rate/Home Insurance/Phone/TV/Internet/-etc). On the other hand, at least, I got one chore out of the way...more or less...still gotta go buy some bananas. (Eating too much 'sweet# things/is not good for neither your teeth/skin...leading to such things as: constipation/a lot of scratching/and, bumps...disfigured skin. So, it's very important to bear in mind that buying fruit/vegetables is also extremely important...unfortunately, I tend to forget!)