Tue 20 Sep 2011 Dulwich Picture Gallery Photos

Recently, I went and joined in a 2 day photography course; a place was offered to me through PGTB/Paxton Green Time Bank volunteering group; the course joins together 5 adults/and, 5 teenage young offenders to go and learn a subject of their own choice; in this case, the chosen subject was phot0graphy.

The young people offenders group consisted of 2 girls/and, 3 boys. 1 girl was white/the other girl was half-caste; and, there were 3 black boys/1 of which was light brown Jamaican/the other 2 were dark skinned, possibly, African. I cannot recall any of their exact names for now, unfortunately.

Our own PGTB members group consisted of 2 guys, me, and, and elderly white gentleman called, Eric, who always wears a suit; and, the rest were women, one woman was black/the others were white; again, I forgot their names; but, I remember seeing and meeting the black woman before.

I arrived at DWP/Dulwich Picture Gallery at 12:00 midday; we all stood around outside of the gallery, at first; -I recall passing the time standing up outside doing some skipping on DWP grass-; then, later on, moved inside into a classroom.

The photography tutor was a young black guy; looked to me to be around 20's/30's; and, he'd already gone and attended college/university to go and do photography studies; as well as, worked on his own. He introduced himself to us through a computer projector slideshow; where we viewed photos he'd taken on his web site.

http://www.adrian-wood.com

He had a few photographic equipments with him...

1 x long 'professional' type of really sturdy tripod with 3 telescopic thick legs.

1 x old style camera

3 x digital Cannon EOS SLR's

We were paired up into groups of around 6; and, were told to go outside and take photos. 2 groups each used one camera; with one group taking the other group members/then, vice versa.

Adrian himself used the old style camera to go take pics of us with.

Later, when we'd finished; we returned back into the classroom; and, viewed some of the pics.

Finally, at the end of the day, around 5PM; we were briefed to get ready for the final day of the course which would be in 2 days time, Thursday; the older members are to meet at DWP at 9.30 AM; when we will be transported off to the young people's school, Fairfax; to go spend the rest of the day 'editing' photos.

Frankly, I really don't know exactly what it is going to be like visiting a young offenders school; but, I'm trying my best not to think 'negative' about it; and, instead, simply, hope everything will turn out for the best...!

After all, when I was a teenager myself, I also went and dropped out of school; so, I don't feel totally out of my depth; and, can identify with these young people to some more or less degree.

Sun 18SEP11 16:25 PM Lost £230.00 William Hill

The truth is any excuse will do...and, my excuse today was I had a £250 bank balance...for me to go gambling.

I did a really 'mad' bet; by investing all £250.00 in William Hill's Roulette; saying to myself, I only wanted to win just 10.00; then, I would quit; by playing the game which I'm most highly familiar with; surely, this would be, really and truly, easy...?

I remember, at the highest point I was up £270.00...which is winning £20.00 on top of the £250 I'd invested; but, I just couldn't quit; because I wanted to win, at least, £25.00 on top, instead. (Though, I honestly believe even if I did win £25.00 I still wouldn't have stopped; because I would have wanted to go win more...!)

At a mid point in the game, my balance said just over £90.00; but, I still didn't wish to quit; deciding to try and win all that I'd lost back; it's called, 'chasing after your losses'; the which strategy, usually, causes you to lose even more; maybe, even absolutely everything. Next thing, I knew, I had won around £190.00 back...and, was just down by £60.00, alone; I had to bet big, though, gambling very nearly everything which is how I managed to gain such big returns.

At the end point in the game; I decided to go 'all in'...hoping to recover back what was my full original total of £250.00 investment stake. The final bet I made was for £180.00; the bet lost; and, I ended up having lost £230.00 altogether; leaving me with just £20.00 investment to go and play with/or else, withdraw.

I feel totally sick, completely disgusted with myself; for going and gambling with money which wasn't even mine; but, instead, a very close relative's money! I HATE gambling! I HATE the hold it keeps on me. No matter how long I do STOP for; I ALWAYS wish to return back to it, and, chase after my loses, again...with the DREAM of endless winnings being possible...which is a really BIG MISTAKE...as all it does is accumulate more and more endless losses!

I have got to wake up, and, NOT gamble, anymore/or, if I truly can't stop myself...then, go and seek eternal help and support, by visiting Gambler's Anonymous organization at 141 Cleveland Street, outside of Great Portland Street tube station in London; and, sooner rather than later; before I go and run up any further losses.

Fri 16 Sep 2011 - evening. Camera/Reiki/Martial arts

4.30 PM - RETURNED BACK DIGITAL CAMERA TO QVC FOR A FULL REFUND

I brought a digital camera, FujiFilm FinePix S3200 model with 24x Zoom, from...

http://www.qvcuk.com

...for around £140.00 + £20.00 accessories. I was allowed 1 month to go and try it out to see if I liked it enough to wish to keep it. Only when I went to eBay, and, also, amazon online book store; I discovered that both of their prices was cheaper; and, furthermore, there is a different FujiFile FinePix model which is called, S4000, with 30x Zoom going for just £20 more. So, I decided as today was my last chance to send it back for a full refund; I might as well do it; then, when I get the refund money I can buy the S4000 model, instead. I believe it cost around £9+ to send back using signed delivery; because I explained to them at the post office that the goods are valued at £140.00+; and, I don't want it to get lost!

6:15 PM - JOINED MORLEY COLLEGE REIKI COURSE

My original thought in going to visit Morley College was to return 4 huge library books; which I did; carrying them inside of my backpack whilst I rode my bike.

I then tried to use the Morley College computers in the adjacent room to the library; but, I was told if I'm not a member of the college doing an actual course there; then, I would not be allowed to use their computers. So, I went back down to the reception, and, purely on an impulse decided to join any course at random...the one I selected was Reiki Level I...a kind of Japanese spiritual healing art...for which I paid £97.00. The class is Friday 6PM-9PM/one day per week for 6 weeks long; at the end of the course, you are meant to gain a certificate; which will allow you to join Reiki Level II. Level III classes are being taught elsewhere. The class had around 15 students; 90% women; I think, I was one of only 2 guys; the other guy was Japanese, AJ. The teacher is a nigerian black lady, Jo, who, apparently, has already been trained up to Reiki 'expert' level III.

It was an interesting class...consisting of learning about Reiki history; and, also, we did some meditation/deep breathing; as well as, some aura sensing; but, I really must confess that I myself did not sense anything at all! There is a part of me that wonders if it's all a big hoax; and, therefore, a total waste of money; what on earth did I spend nearly £100 on this crap for?! However, there is another part of me that thinks I must give it plenty of time...maybe, I will be able to understand and appreciate more, later on.

9:30 AM I was cycling back home from Morley College; when I ended up at Fusion keep fit/martial arts centre in Elephant & Castle. There I glimpsed a black guy practicing striking against a heavy bag; and, also, 2 other guys indulging in what looked like Wing Chun sparring. I decided to get off my bike; and, go and take a much closer look standing up outside of the front door.

The instructor came over, and, we talked; I asked him how much? He said, £30.00, Thursday's 8AM-9PM/or, 10PM?! He next invited me inside; and, I did some light freestyle sparring with him. He was strong; and, I sensed he could have taken me out cold at anytime; but, he was also controlled, and, knew how to pull his strikes...he both punched/kicked me in the head...but, instead, of striking deep; just merely tapped against the surface of my skin. We sparred for around 10/or, maybe 15/20 minutes; then, I felt tired, and, decided to quit; especially, as I basically got fed up of the fact that I couldn't really penetrate his guard; but, he could easily pentrate mine...maybe, I got one or two lucky touches in...but, compared with his getting nearly everything in!

I thought, maybe, that's something for me to go and try next Thursday; however, I'm worried about the cost...how long would I be able to afford it?! I'm deeply concerned, too, that I might not be fit enough to keep up with any heavy exercise routine...which might leave me feeling very deeply embarassed; and, therefore, never wish to go back; another concern is that I might not stick with learning it...due to ADD/Attention Deficit Disorder/and, also, sheer frustration/impatience...it, usually, takes a long time to get to improve...like, maybe, years...as opposed to mere weeks/months; but, I want everything to work effectively like right NOW!

CONCLUSION

Been a very interesting evening. It amazes me that whenever I stay in; hardly anything much ever happens; but, then, when I go out...wow...loads and loads of endless things start happening! This makes me, sometimes, wish to go out...and, never come back in, again...just stay out there, forevermore.

On the other hand, I know my mum is expecting me to come back home before the clock strikes midnight...or else, she might not be able to sleep; so, I returned home, thinking to myself I could go out at night when she is still asleep, possibly?!

I'm also thinking I went and joined Vauxhall gym...which is open 24 hours per day...maybe, I should go over there at night to go do a workout...rather than waste the £14.99 monthly regular gym membership!

Tomorrow, I should also like to ride all the way up to Croydon, to go and practice doing some boxing for which I paid £20.00 for the month; but, only went there 1 week every single day; but, didn't go the next week which again is a total waste! I now have just 2 more weeks boxing gym membership to go use up.

I'm trying to add all of this up...

14.99 Vauxhall keep fit gym (24 hours)

20.00 Croydon Boxing (7 days per week)

30.00 Fusion Kung Fu Elephant & Castle (Thursday evenings, 8AM-10PM/4 x per week)

====

64.99 monthly

...I'm going to have to decide which one/or, two of these to cut out; and, which one to keep; but, there's no way I can see myself being able to afford that sort of fee every single month!

Fri 16 Sep 2011 It's now college enrollment month...

I woke up today thinking to myself it's college enrollment month; and, I still haven't made up my mind which college course I'm most interested in going for...???

I also feel though, that whilst I'm still able to afford it/and, also, able to mentally/physically attend; then, there's no reason why I should not be in college studying towards obtaining a qualification; as opposed to just staying at home and studying on my own; with no possibility of gaining any qualification in that way?!

After quitting going to the class which I've attended for 5+ years long at Morley College, Lambeth North in London, UK; called, Arts for People with Learning Disabilities; I quit mainly because it wasn't giving me any 'official' qualification; and, also, the class based work wasn't truly demanding enough; which made me go off and do my own thing, instead.

I next completed doing 12 weeks of Art Pre-Foundation. Right now, the Art Foundation class has already started, Mon/Fri...and, this is now the end of the 2nd week, Fri; but, still not too late for me to be able to join in. Only the cost is £1,622.00; and, it lasts for a whole entire year long; from Sep 2011 down to July 2012. My problem there is, number 1, that sum is far too expensive for me to be able to afford...but, not impossible; however, as I see it...most 12 weeks courses costs around £100+...; and, for that same amount of money, I could buy 16 x 12 weeks courses!

Number 2, I'm really not sure I have it in me to make a commitment to doing just one same course for a whole entire year; because I'm pretty sure that, sooner or later, I'm going to feel, really and truly, bored doing 'fixed' course work! Instead, I prefer to do much shorter courses consisting of up to 12 weeks long; which will allow me a certain amount of FREEDOM to go change my mind, afterwards; for example, I could go off and do something else which is entirely 'different'.

What I'm actually aiming for is to be able to get into university one day; and, possibly, continuing with the Art Foundation course would be the fastest route to my achieving that.

Beginners Digital Photography, starts today; costing, £206.00; but, isn't certificated; however, it could later lead on to me taking a certificated course in photography.

I'm also thinking, though, of taking a few FREE courses such as basic English/Maths. I think, they said the test dates would be the 20/23rd Sep.; for them to find out exactly what level you are currently at; and, then, they would be able to direct you as to which course would truly suit you best.

There is another possibility, however; and, that is to chose courses which are starting not, right now; but, instead, next month/next year; and, pay for these really early to make sure I get a place. For this purpose, I'm trying to compile a list...of course code numbers/names/dates/times/duration/other details/-etc.

Furthermore, Morley College, is not the only college in London; instead, there are many more...; and, I haven't yet gone and checked out what all of these other colleges might be able to offer me?

In addition to which, as well as, external colleges; it's possible to go and study online, instead; and, there are various online schools which will allow you to do that; I need to do more research into this way of thinking, too.

100811 - Gambled at William Hill/Lost: £110

Unfortunately, I was tempted to try gambling at...

http://www.williamhill.com

...where, initially, I lost £10.00 whilst playing Black Jack.

I then allowed myself to get tempted to chase after my losses in order to recover all of my money back, again; by investing a further £100.00 into gambling. This time I decided to play Roulette; although, at first, I was winning by £120.00(having recovered back the £10 I'd lost, initially/and, won a further £10 on top of it); but, then, as usual, I found I just couldn't stop...the winning is so exciting...you just want to win more and more...! So, I went and made a further £30 bet which lost; followed by a £90 bet which lost; thus, leaving me with nothing but £0.44p. I had no other choice but to quit as the minimum bet is £0.50p.

Gambling HURTS! I've got to STOP this habit, and, the sooner the better. I'm an ADDICT; and, if I find myself doing any more; I will have to return back to go and visit GA-Gamblers Anonymous, located outside of Great Portland Street tube station/131 Cleveland Street, again.

080811 - Went Kingswood with Sharon

On Monday my cousin, Sharon, gave me a phone call saying she would be coming over to visit and collect me to go off to the country. She also brought along with her 2 kids in the car, both Domenic and Ryan. The car was red, big, new; I forgot the exact make; but, it was a luxury sort of many seater van...with seats in front/and, seats behind...which had built-in fridge/shopping trolley/tray/-etc.

She explained the reason why she was late was because she had an accident; a guy had parked their shopping trolley on top of a hill; and, it was loaded up with goods; when, all of a sudden, the trolley ran all by itself straight down the hill, and, had come to a stop by striking hard against their car; consequently, the car was left with 3 or 4 dents in it. She said she would have to go and make an insurance claim, even though the car was 'new'.

We went off to Kingswood; and, were going to visit a special park for kids, Wesley(?); but, unfortunately, the time had gotten late; and, Sharon explained that Laura, Ryan's mother, was expecting him to be back soon in around a hour or two. So, the original park visit was cancelled; and, we went to visit a local park in Kingswood, instead; where they stayed inside of the kids play area. The kids had a lot of fun! For me, personally, it was interesting as it brought back precious memories of when I was a kid.

Later on, we went home to Kingswood; where I saw the twins Oliver and Charlotte; though, less than 1 year old, they seem to have grown really very big; and, are drinking loads of milk; I'm sure, they must ingested around 1/2 a pint to a full pint; which I helped to feed them.

I remember Sharon saying she wanted me to be the twins Godfather; but, I really wasn't sure that I would be an acceptable enough role-model. However, Sharon said she sees me as close like a brother; so, it was very difficult to not accept. She said the babies Christening would be 23rd October 2011, at 1 PM.

I stayed there pretty late leaving somewhere around 9:15 PM. Unfortunately, on the Sky TV news program it said that in West Croydon there was rioting including loads of looting/burning. So, both she and her husband Geoff advised me to go take train instead of bus; normally, I would take a a 166 bus from Banstead to take me back to Croydon; and, from there take a 68 bus to West Norwood; however, the 166 bus also goes very near to West Croydon area.

The train cost me £5.50 to punch a single 'all day' ticket from Kingswood to London; paid for using Debit card; so, I didn't actually need to use cash. I had to change at Clapham Junction; and, then, take a next train to West Norwood. My train journey home was uneventful; even though the train did pass through both South Croydon/East Croydon; but, I was already fast asleep on the train when I'd reached those destinations; conseqently, I saw absolutely nothing happening at all.

One other problem I had was, as I was rolling over on the ground, playing with the babies around me. I had a black Praktica 10 MP 1100z digital camera which I kept hidden inside of my trousers pocket. When I took the camera out, unfortunately, the view finder part was broken; thus, the camera no longer works. I'm going to have to buy another one costing around £40.00 from off eBay, again, once more. This is the 2nd Praktica digital camera (silver/1000z) which I broke; the last one broke when I was knocked off my bike in the street by a car.

Went Morley College to go collect my artworks...

Recently, I went and signed up for Morley College Fine Art Pre-Foundation course, lasting 12 weeks/1 day per week, from 10AM-5PM. The course finished last week(6th May 2011/29 July 2011).

NOTE: I decided not to bother with doing the follow on course Fine Art Foundation proper; as I'm low in funds(£800 is concessionary fee); I'm not sure I could stick with it for a whole entire year(especially, keeping up with doing the homework?!); and, the type of art I'm interested in learning is really 'realistic' as opposed to being purely 'experimental'.

http://www.morleycollege.ac.uk

9:30 AM Woke up. Realized I was already late to get to Morley College on time at 10 AM Friday; because this was meant to be the day when they take down pictures of our Morley College Landing exhibition. Anyway, I left home late, at around 11 AM. Still I got there on time to be able to take down and retrieve all of my printed out pictures/sketchbook.

12:00 I decided rather than go straight home; why not go and visit seeing the National Gallery, instead. I stayed there all day from 1PM-5PM.

http://www.nationalgallery.org.uk

5PM I thought why not go and visit the National Portrait Gallery...which is located next door to the National. I stayed there until 9PM...as it was a late night opening.

http://www.npg.org.uk

12:00 midnight. I arrived back home. I did stop to go and buy some chips in Norwood.

CONCLUSION

Interesting day. Good fun going and visiting galleries/and, copying with pencil into my sketchbook.